Fireworks

A thick pall of black smoke hung over the city on Wednesday morning. A massive explosion in an illegal firework warehouse in the Al Quoz industrial area has already claimed 8 lives and caused chaos throughout the city. Schools were (pointlessly) evacuated and traffic was brought to a virtual standstill by rubber neckers.

There were more fireworks at the Dubai World Cup, the world's richest horse race and the premier social event of the year in Dubai. The hat shops certainly did well this week as Dubai's beautiful people preened themselves on the paddock lawns. I will remember it for ridiculous queues of over an hour to get in and an ugly scramble to get on the buses back to the car park and taxi rank afterwards. The fireworks were good though.

New traffic laws

With a great fanfare, new traffic laws were introduced at the beginning of the month. Fines have been increased and there is now a 'black points' system which means that you can lose your licence for a while. According to the Chief of Police the new system will reduce traffic accidents and make roads safer for motorists and pedestrians. However, the black points are not as bad as the UK point system and are even reset every year. For example, I'm ashamed to say that I have had 5 speeding fines in the past year from cameras. A couple of these are for travelling in excess of 100mph on my regular trip to Abu Dhabi. Believe me, it's not like I'm anywhere near the fastest on the road and the speed limit is 100mph. In the UK I would have received a ban. In the new system I wouldn't get any black points for these offences - just a 200 Dhs (30 quid) fine.

I've seen how much difference this new law has made in the Emirates. Precisely none. Idiotic driving carries on as normal. The worst crash since I've been here happened this morning. Over 200 cars involved in a huge pile up in fog on the way from Dubai to Abu Dhabi. 141 injuries and 8 fatalities. All depressingly familiar and predictable. This video gives an idea of the carnage.

Wrong kind of blow job

In a bad week, when I have been unable to shake off a cold, this story from the Gulf News made me laugh (for those not familiar with local laws, relationships with the opposite sex outside of wedlock is strictly forbidden).

Lovers exchange blows after man breaks wind
By Bassam Za'za', Senior
ReporterPublished: March 05, 2008, 00:36
Dubai: Two lovers are standing trial
for having an illicit relationship and exchanging blows after the man broke wind
while in bed.
The Dubai Public Prosecution charged the Asian man with having
consensual sex with his compatriot female who was also charged with allowing him
to sleep with her.
The duo, in their 20s, were also charged with hitting
each other.
The lovers who stood trial before the Dubai Court of Misdemeanour
on Tuesday confessed to having an illicit relation.
When the judge asked
them why they assaulted each other, the girl claimed that her lover broke wind
and they had a heated argument which degenerated into an assault.
The two
suspects, who are currently on bail, reported the fight to the police which
questioned them before forwarding them to the Public Prosecution.
A ruling
will be issued soon.

Warming Up

Six weeks without a blog entry. Not good. In my defence, we have been quite busy, but really there is no excuse - just laziness.

It has been, not to put too fine a point on it, quite chilly of late in the Emirates. I know this is hard to believe but we are just not prepared for any kind of sub 20 degree weather. I think it's a combination of no heating and having gone completely soft. I even had to go out and buy a jacket and have been forced into borrowing one of my wife's larger sweatshirts on a couple of occasions. Anyway, it seems to be warming up now and it's OK to sit out and eat in the evenings again.

This is a good time of year for sport in Dubai. We had the marathon (including a dire performance by me in the 10K), the Dubai Desert Classic (Tiger Woods amazing again) and the tennis championships. Ben had his own triumph at The Montgomerie Young Golfer Awards - out of over 100 kids he was voted 'Best dressed golfer'! He was absolutely thrilled. All we need now is for him to learn how to hit the ball!

We went to the Speedcar Championships at Dubai Autodrome featuring ex formula one stars Johnny Herbert and Jean Alesi. Thanks to some tenuous connection with school we got access all areas on the start grid before the race. Johnny Herbert was very chatty and put Max into his car.