A new life in Dubai

Blipfoto

2010-09-04T09:23:00.001+03:00

I have been rather neglecting this blog recently. This is largely through apathy and a new and growing obsession with blipfoto. The idea is to post a new picture every day and there is a whole community out there to share with. Some of the posted pictures are quite spectacular, others simply tell a good story as you can also write a blog like journal to accompany the picture. It is all very addictive.

A good picture every day is very hard to achieve, but what it has made me do is take more photos, take my camera almost everywhere, and think much more about my photography.

My efforts can be seen at www.blipfoto.com/dubaidudes.

Blipfoto

2010-08-24T19:35:00.000+03:00

Jan, unwittingly via one of her Facebook comments, has directed me to Blipfoto. Seems like a good idea so I'm going to give it a go. I did want to post the picture taken below yesterday evening. Unfortunately the rules of the site are that the photo has to be uploaded on the day taken.

The photo was taken from 'At The Top', the viewing gallery of the world's tallest building, the Burj Khalifa. As you can see, the viewing gallery is nowhere near the top. In fact, even though you are on the 124th floor, there are another 40 floors above you!

You can find my blipfoto efforts here.

Dates

2010-07-12T21:59:00.000+03:00

The time has come to harvest the dates in our garden and I was out there playing with the kids in the pool and taking a few photos.

Lucy was fairly oblivious to it all ...

Theme Parks

2010-04-16T13:02:00.010+03:00

No visit to Florida would be complete without a trip to a theme park. Which ones though? So many to choose from.

In the end we decided on Disney's Magic Kingdom first, followed by Universal Studios, both in Orlando. We arrived early at Disneyland, paid $14 for the car park and began the tortuous journey into the park. First was a ride to the ticket booth where we were lightened of $90 each for over 10's and $80 for the younger ones. Thereafter there was a choice of either ferry or monorail to the park itself. We chose the latter, the whole process taking over an hour and it was the same on the way back.

Once inside all reality is suspended. The park is aimed primarily at younger children - no big roller coasters here. The only one of significance, Space Mountain, is enjoyable enough but didn't really get the pulse racing. It was a busy day, the last Saturday of the Easter holidays, and the queues for everything were long, many taking 50 minutes or so for a usually short ride.

Prices in the park for food, drink and merchandising are on the high side of extortionate. You are a captive audience and I felt well and truly exploited.

Overall, I wasn't impressed and certainly wouldn't go back. The children enjoyed it, but Disney is a little bit too false sugary sweet for me.

Max meets the 'real' Mickey

Universal Studios on the other hand was an altogether better experience. Firstly, it was easier and cheaper to get in. Once inside, food and drink was all at normal prices as far as I could see and there was a good selection. Starbucks coffee for example, at $2, was almost half the price we pay in Dubai for the same thing!

We didn't bother paying the extra $99 each(!) for the express pass which helped you skip the bulk of the queues, but it wasn't necessary anyway as none of the queues were excessive. They had also, unlike Disney, gone to some length to keep you entertained whilst waiting - special Simpsons videos, for example, whilst waiting for the extremely good Simpsons ride.

The 2 big roller coasters were excellent, especially the Mummy one in pitch black with fire in the ceiling, backwards travel and clever special effects.

The tie-ins with the movies were good, especially Terminator, but some parts, like Jaws, were looking a little jaded.

Overall though, something for everyone here and an excellent day out.

The picture below is the current state of Universal Studios, Dubai. It consists of a gate, a site office and a whole load of empty desert as far as the eye can see. The park was due to open this year but appears to be another victim of the global slowdown.

The most fun you can have whilst puking your guts up ...

2010-04-07T04:41:00.015+03:00

Meet Captain Fox Watkins, genial Floridian professional charter captain. For 47 years he has been fishing the waters off the coast of Florida. Today he had the uneviable task of taking me on my first ever sports fishing trip.

I have been fishing before; minnows in streams, the odd small trout, that kind of thing. But I have never been anywhere near sailfish, marlin, tuna and the big fish that lurk in the ocean.

First of all though, we needed fuel and I discovered part of the reason that deep sea fishing trips are so expensive. The 1500HP is very, very thirsty and needs a lot of maintenance. The fuel tanks hold 300 gallons which cost a cool $863 + 6% state tax to fill. The trip to Titusville and back, about 10 hours round trip had used 400 gallons of fuel - well over $1,000.

We started out catching some live bait. Specifically, this was sea bass about 8 to 10" or so that hung themselves eagerly on our hooks when we put small pieces of shrimp on. Ben particularly loved this, once catching three fish on one cast, and would have been happy to do this all day. However, we had bigger fish to fry and motored on to a wreck to look for amberjack.

Nico dropped over a couple of sea bass as livebait and was immediately in to a big fish. Unfortunately, I chose this moment to be overcome by the smell of diesel and the feeling of nausea from the rocking of the boat and was violently sick for the next hour or so - the first time I have ever been seasick and I felt embarassed that my sea legs had let me down.

Then it all went quiet for a while and we couldn't catch anything. Fox, who gives directions from the bridge on exactly what to do when, came down to see what was happening. He dropped a rod in and immediately got a bite, gave me a knowing look, and handed the rod to me. I wasn't prepared for how hard it would be. The fish fought like hell and I didn't think I had enough strength in my arm to reel it in. With help and encouragement from Nico I finally hauled him up. Nico gaffed him and put him quickly into the fish box. Fox guessed the weight at 35lbs - I was sure it was larger! - but it did get quite an appreciation from the crowd that gathers at the marina to see what has been caught.

The amberjack are part of Fox's deal; he has them made into what he calls fish dip or Smak and is sold locally. He gave us a tub and it is delicious - Lucy gorged herself on it.

So, we had to catch something for supper. Ben caught a couple of legal sized sea bass and then we moved on to troll for kingfish (also known as king mackerel). There were around 20 other boats in the area, mostly commercial fishermen. After a one hour or so of no bites, we landed three decent sized fish in quick succession. They have pretty nasty teeth and I was glad to see them safely in the fish box.

After that, we returned back to the marina for the obligatory pose with the catch. Fox then drew quite a crowd of tourists and pelicans as he demonstrated his filleting skills. The resulting fillets were then made into a superb meal by the restaurant in the marina for only $10 each. Great way to end another memorable day.

Shuttle Launch

2010-04-06T00:09:00.009+03:00

5am, Easter Monday. T minus 1 hour and 21 minutes until the space shuttle blasts off on one of its very last trips into space. There are only 3 missions left after this one. It is pitch black, a little bit chilly. Everyone else is fast asleep but the jet lag has just caught up on me and I am wide awake and wondering what camera settings and which lens will be needed – there is no second chance for this photo op and, for me, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity that is too good to miss. The first photographer has just arrived with tripod (damn – didn’t pack mine). He has clearly done this before and at least is showing me the direction to point.

We are in Titusville Municipal Marina. Titusville is THE place to watch a shuttle launch if you can’t get one of the few public spots at the Kennedy Space Centre and you don’t work for NASA. Mind you, it is still at least 10 miles away but the area surrounding the launch is locked down by NASA and there is nowhere closer.

The first day of the holiday was a bit of a blur. We took the 17 hour night flight to Orlando and then drove down to Fort Pierce City Marina where Nico, Helen and LJ (friends from Dubai) are being most excellent hosts on their boat ‘Distinctive Too’. Three young kids on a plane for that length of time is nobody’s idea of fun but they all coped extremely well. The plane was full of what was mostly Americans returning home for Easter. A fair few of them, judging by their size and lousy haircuts, appeared to be soldiers returning for R&R as I believe they call it. I was struck by how big they all were, and Americans in general for that matter. As we were getting ready to take off a petite stewardess was struggling to close the overhead locker. The man mountain sat underneath it did not move a muscle other than to raise his arm slightly and easily push it shut.

From Fort Pierce we sailed up the intercoastal waterway for almost 5 hours to Titusville, watching dolphins play in the wake and jealously regarding the waterfront mansions. It’s not too hard to see why this is a popular holiday and retirement area. The boat is great, with three bedrooms, two bathrooms, internet connection and a big plasma TV. But this isn’t a boat built for pleasure cruising. No, first and foremost, this is a boat built for serious deep sea fishing. Nico takes this all pretty seriously, both in Dubai (where he has another boat) and here in Florida. Yesterday he caught an 80lb amberjack - comfortably bigger than Max!

At the back of the boat (I’m sure there’s a proper nautical term, but I am a complete landlubber) there is a big chair (‘the fighting chair’) with holders for 9 rods. You can even be strapped into it. Two of the rods, I am informed, are electric and cost a cool $1500 each. On the upper deck there are 6 more rods and giant pointed arms which can be set to trail bait. There are boxes to put fish in, a big tank full of livebait, and drawers and drawers of fishing tackle. This really is a professional sports fishing boat.

Anyway, back to the shuttle launch. It is now just after 6 and everyone has woken up and eagerly anticipating the launch. We have the local radio on giving commentary and countdown. And then, at precisely 6.21 EDT, the sky is no longer black as ball of incandescent light illuminates the whole sky and the shuttle is on its way to the space station. It is truly an amazing sight as it thrusts spacewards leaving a huge plume of smoke behind. A minute or so later the sound arrives, a gentle rumble at first and then a crack like a large clap of thunder. Suddenly, I am glad that we are 10 miles away.

After a few minutes it is gone and out of site. An absolutely amazing sight to witness first hand - the smoke lingers for a few hours, making strange shapes in the sky, but the memories will last forever.

Moths

2010-03-14T20:47:00.003+03:00

The World Moth Sailing Championships were held at our local sailing club, DOSC, this week. These little boats are a beautiful sight as they climb out of the water and almost look like they are flying.

I was very fortunate to get a pass to go out on one of the media boats and take photos. Although the weather was poor, very hazy with poor visibility making for hard conditions to take pictures in, I had a great time.

I haven't had chance to go through all the photos yet, but here are a few that give a flavour of the event.

Catch up

2010-03-03T06:00:00.007+03:00

Well, February has been and gone and we march on towards summer. There always seems to be a change in the weather before the temperature increases and we have had bad sandstorms and then rain over the past few days. As usual, carnage was inevitable - people here cannot drive in fog or rain and the drainage system, even on the newly widened Emirates Road, is woefully inadequate.

It has been the running season for me and I completed the Dubai 10k in my best time in four starts and then followed it up being part of a team coming second, in spite of me, in the Creek Relay. I also managed the RAK Half Marathon although I found the last few km incredibly hard, slowed almost to a crawl, and only just got under 2 hours (1 hour 56 mins). Rather like a woman during childbirth, I vowed during the race never to do it again. Now, on reflection, I'd like to do another one where I get some proper long distance training in. One thing it has given me is a new respect for anyone who has completed a marathon.

As usual, the children have all been busy. Lucy's gymnastics have really developed over the last term and we enjoyed watching her in a display at a school fayre. I got asked to take the photos and found it quite nerve wracking as the light was terrible, there was a distracting background and I was surrounded by other people with cameras.

Ben was in a big rugby tournament the weekend after at The 7evens ground. There were 19 teams in the U-8 from as far afield as Azerbaijan, Cairo, Kuwait, Qatar, Bahrain, Sharjah, Abu Dhabi and Oman. His team played really well and were unbeaten all day, with just one draw in the pool. Yet again I got asked to take the pictures after the pro who had been hired didn't turn up.

Max turned 5 in February and we celebrated with a party on the beach - one of the better aspects of living in a hot country by the sea.

Kidzania

2010-01-30T19:43:00.016+03:00

I've just spent the day at Kidzania, one of the latest attractions to open at The Dubai Mall. It is essentially a scaled down replica of a real city where kids get to have a go at various jobs through role play.

We were there for several hours and didn't manage to get around and do everything (although this was largely due to the queues). Event though it was a little bit manic with excited kids running around, fire engines and ambulances wailing, I thought it was nicely done and the kids had a great time.

The Dubai Shopping Festival is also on for the next month. I have been waiting patiently for it to start for 3 weeks after the salesman in the Canon shop advised me to wait before buying my new camera, a rather snazzy Canon 7D. He certainly did me a favour as the camera was reduced by over 1,000Dhs (£150 or so) in the sale. I'm still working my way through the 270 page instruction book, and have barely got out of automatic mode yet, but already I'm loving the feel of it and the performance is streets ahead of my old Canon 400D.

First portrait with the new camera - Lucy watching TV by the window

Theatre school

The theatre itself was impressive

Lucy on the radio

Making pizza

Anyone for extra mozzarella?

Max the pilot (talked him out of being cabin crew!)

That's more like it - surgery was great fun

Max was a policeman clearing the way for the ambulance - suspect they regretted putting him in charge of the whistle!

New year's resolutions

2010-01-06T20:59:00.005+03:00

Well, you start off with the best of intentions but generally they seem to be a bad idea in the end. Right now I'm feeling guilty about the wine I just drank and the chocolate I ate today. However, another of my resolutions was to sort out my photo collection from a rag bag collection of badly labelled CDs and back up disks into something useful in Lightroom.

I haven't finished yet, but lots of the old photos (especially of the children) have made me smile and brought back good memories as I shuffle them around. I thought I'd share this one that amused me when I saw it. We were out in Haworth, Bronte country, five years ago satisfying our friend Paul's annual need to take our children on steam trains in the midst of a freezing cold winter. The other picture of Paul, dragging us round some old train museum, will give a hint as to just how cold it was.

4th January

2010-01-04T21:11:00.004+03:00

An auspicious day indeed. My wife shares her birthday with Isaac Newton, the accession of Sheikh Mohammed to being Ruler of Dubai and the official opening of the world's tallest building, the Burj Dubai.

Well, until today it was called the Burj Dubai. Apparently it has been renamed the Burj Khalifa after the President of the UAE and Ruler of Abu Dhabi. I don't suppose this is in any way related to the recent loan to Dubai from Abu Dhabi of a large amount of money to get them out of the financial mire.

Never mind. Whatever your views on Dubai, this building is an amazing feat of engineering. At 828m tall (3.5 x higher than Canary Wharf tower!) it absolutely dwarves anything else in the world. The next tallest occupied building is the CN Tower in Ontario at a mere 553m.

You can see the Burj from almost anywhere in Dubai and the view from our villa isn't bad. We did toy with going but there were 6,000 invited guests and we had learnt from our abortive efforts to see fireworks on National Day that getting there wouldn't be easy.

The reported 10,000 fireworks at the opening ceremony were very impressive, but by the time I'd scuttled up to the roof with my camera they had finished. The picture below was my best effort. Not as good as the one below that (from Getty Images by a better prepared photographer than me) which gives a bit more of an idea of what a spectacular event it was as the whole building erupted with fireworks.

Happy New Decade

2010-01-03T17:25:00.003+03:00

Well, happy new year to the few of you still following our continuing adventures in The Sand Lands.

It was a very quiet Christmas for us here in Dubai. Unfortunately Janet had tonsillitis on Christmas Day, and only made a brief appearance out of her bed, so the whole day was rather muted. It was just as well we had ordered lunch as a take away from the Jumeirah Beach Hotel or it would have been beans on toast for lunch.

New years eve was rather more fun at a superheroes themed party at a friend's house. I was Superman (minus the muscles as Lucy astutely observed) and Janet was Catwoman. I'm not quite sure how Catwoman counts as a superhero but Penelope Pitstop and Duff Man seemed to think it was ok.

Will the last one out turn the lights off please?

2009-12-16T21:53:00.004+03:00

There seems to have been a lot of premature nonsense, in the UK media especially, about Dubai having gone bust. Apparently enquiries for holiday bookings were up 570% immediately after Dubai World requested a six month suspension on their debt repayment. There certainly are some serious problems here, and I'm hearing stories all the time of companies being owed money, but ultimately this is still a rich country with a significant percentage of the world's oil and gas. Abu Dhabi finally stepped in earlier this week, in the form of a $10 billion loan, which should keep the wolf from the door for a little longer.

In the meantime, life goes on pretty much as normal. I travel past this royal palace on Al Sufouh road every day. It, and the surrounding wall, has been completely covered in lights, presumably for a wedding. The picture I took hasn't really done it justice - there was a decent view from the main gate but I didn't want to set my tripod up with all the police there - but it made me gasp and say 'wow' out loud to myself as I walked past.

It's raining, it's pouring ...

2009-12-14T06:03:00.004+03:00

If you've booked a winter sun holiday in Dubai this week then you're going to be disappointed. It has rained for the past days, and very heavily yesterday - more than a month's rain in a week. Not a big deal in most places, but a big problem here. Absolute chaos on the roads and, according to The National, at least 6 people lost their lives.

Rugby Sevens

2009-12-07T22:16:00.007+03:00

Last week was filled with public holidays due to Eid and National Day, which was celebrating the UAE's 38th birthday. We went over to Abu Dhabi for a couple of days holiday and had a good time but unfortunately, despite our valiant efforts, completely missed the 'world's largest firework display' on the Corniche due to complete traffic gridlock.

Anyway, the day after was the Dubai Rugby Sevens; an expat institution (aka huge piss up) and an event which is older than the country. We normally don't go since it isn't a great deal of fun either for, or with, young kids. This year, however, was different.

Ben, 7, and Max, 4, both play for the Dubai Hurricanes in the U8s and U5s. Every Friday morning we drive 30 minutes out of Dubai into the desert location that is now home of rugby in Dubai. Even though it is often an effort due to suffering from the night before (I am not alone in this by any means!), I do enjoy getting out there. It is the only sporting activity we do that is a) not run for profit and b) run by dads of all rugby playing nationalities who want their kids to enjoy rugby. Everything else we do, at least it seems to me, is all geared up to lightening your wallet.

Ben, like his father, isn't a natural sportsman but does put in the effort and was rewarded by being picked in the side to play in an exhibition match at the Sevens between the internationals. They warmed up on the sidelines, just like the national teams, as Australia struggled to overcome the Argentinians.

The match itself was only six minutes, but good fun with a crowd of well over 20,000 shouting and cheering. The intention was to showcase rugby to local people and hopefully get them to get their kids along too. I reckon it couldn't have gone much better in that respect - the kids played well and were obviously enjoying it.

Afterwards there was a little presentation of a medal and small gift on the pitch for all the kids by Lawrence Dallaglio. Although none of the kids knew who he was, we were impressed, and a very proud bunch of parents.

Photoshop

2009-09-28T21:36:00.003+03:00

I do love Photoshop - and Lightroom for that matter. Amazing programmes which I am just scratching the surface of. But, I am getting better and I'm very pleased with the photo that I've added as the title bar. The unedited version is below. And no, Max (who is only 4) is not a gay musketeer - it's just that his sister likes to dress him up.

Metro

2009-09-23T21:12:00.003+03:00

Dubai has finally joined the exclusive global club of cities with a Metro. With much fanfare a very limited service started on 09/09/09 at, predictably, 09.09pm. Sheikh Mohammed looked justifably proud as he opened it and took the first official ride.

Only 10 stations are open and only 6 trains per hour are running at the moment. The rest of the stations won't open until next February, but it is impressive that it has been built so quickly. I spent many years working on the Jubilee Line Extension and know how difficult a task it is to introduce a new rail system.

There is a lot of local interest in it, but it isn't clear yet how it is going to be useful to the majority of residents. Although they have laid on parking and feeder buses, it is very hard to compete with the car in such a hot climate and where there is a fast motorway running alongside the route.

I was in the Mall of the Emirates this evening and thought I'd go and have a ride and take some photos now that the novelty has worn off. Unfortunately, it was all a bit chaotic. I couldn't figure out how to pay and the queues were too long for me to be bothered. Instead, I got back in the car and went to practice some night photography on the beach next to the Burj al Arab.

To Let

2009-09-03T19:00:00.003+03:00

At this time last year we were looking for a villa to rent near the new school in Jumeirah. For weeks I drove miles and miles, up and down all the streets in the area trying to find a 'To Let' sign. The few that did have a sign wanted more money than most people earn in a year.

Now, one year on, the change could not be more marked. On a short 5 minute walk to the supermarket last night I spotted 7 'To Let' signs and it is noticeable driving around the area that more and more properties are coming on the market.

Prices have fallen too - in some places they have almost halved in a year. No doubt this is a combination of the slowdown, people leaving and the large number of apartments and villas being finally completed. I'll be going to see my landlord and ask for a rent cut - if he won't agree then we'll probably have to move.

PS give that number above a ring - it's a nice villa opposite the Chinese Consulate and I'm curious how much rent they want.

The best laid plans ...

2009-07-06T11:31:00.003+03:00

The number of ill-thought out Government announcements in Dubai and the Emirates are legion. Salik (the road toll system) caused huge problems when it started and the ID card situation is still a complete fiasco.

The latest announcement is that schools will remain closed during Ramadan, delaying the start of the new school year by 3 weeks or so. Apparently this is because of feedback Sheikh Mohammed received on his Facebook account. Listening to the people is one thing, but Government by Facebook is quite unbelievable! It isn't surprising that most respondents thought closing schools during Ramadan was a good idea - it is a tough time for Muslims after all - but no thought seems to have been given as to how the extra days are to be made up during the year. For myself, I think my kids spend enough time at school as it is. The school day is already going to be lengthened next year for more arabic lessons, which I don't have a problem with, but any additional hours or Saturday working is just going to be too much of a burden on all concerned.

Anyway, in the usual way of things here, it isn't clear if private schools are going to be affected as well or not. Apparently discussions with the private schools are ongoing, although it is clear they are against the plan and wish to open as originally planned on September 6. As a result our plans for holidays are up in the air whilst we wait to see what happens.

Countdown

2009-06-14T07:24:00.005+03:00

Three weeks until the school holidays, and, frankly, it can't come too soon for the children. It has been extremely hot of late and there will be no respite until much later in the year.

There is very little of note to report. Lucy came a very good second in the club gymnastic competition at the weekend. I was quite pleased with this photo, which justifies the outrageous cost of my new lens, but also shows up that I need a new camera with better high ISO performance (honest!).

I also liked this picture of Ben that I took yesterday as part of my effort to enter the Stobist competition. Unfortunately, the other two kids are not nearly as willing to pose and are harder to pin down to get a decent mugshot. I don't think it's good enough yet, but does make me wonder if I could get a job taking school photos?

Red Break

2009-05-28T06:11:00.003+03:00

In these uncertain times, you can still be certain of one thing in Dubai. The temperature, unlike local property prices, will continue to rise and rise. The effect is gradual and, at first, you only notice it in small ways. The electricity bill goes up because the AC is on continually and the water out of the cold tap, since the tank is on the roof, comes out hot. Your back is sweaty after you drop the kids off at school at 7.30am, and it's too hot and sticky to sit out in the garden at night.

It's hard to tell when summer actually starts (although one local said to me 'yes, we have four seasons, three are summer'). Anyway, I reckon it was yesterday - 47 degrees in Jebel Ali and I felt my cheeks start to burn the moment I stepped out of the car. The kids are now on red break at school - not allowed out at playtime because it's too hot. Spare a thought for those poor souls stuck outside all day working in it earning a pittance for their toil.

Adrian Hayes

2009-05-10T12:39:00.004+03:00

I know Adrian through Dubai Road Runners and have trotted round Safa Park with him and his daughter Charlotte (who is at school with Ben). He is quite something, in the Guiness Book of Records for the fastest time to walk to the North and South Poles and climb Everest and also, at almost 50, the 'fittest man in the UAE'.

He has just departed for the longest unsupported polar walk ever - 3500km across Greenland - to raise awareness of environmental issues and 'to have fun'.

I'd like to wish him the best of luck You can follow his progress here.

Honesty

2009-05-10T11:37:00.002+03:00

On my very first visit to the Middle East, over 10 years ago now, I left my wallet on the back seat of a hire car. Living in Liverpool at the time I had become conditioned to expect never to see it again, but it turned up next day with no fuss at all.

This weekend, after Ben's last rugby match of the season (soooo hot...), we went to Dubai Outlet Mall for a bit of shopping. I had to pop back to the car and walked off leaving the boot wide open. My camera, complete with expensive new lens, was sat in full view. When I got back to the car, two hours later, I was mortified to see the boot wide open and three man standing around. Thankfully, nothing had been stolen and the Security Guard had kept watch over it for over two hours in the scorching heat. He wouldn't even accept a small reward from me.

Just recently there was an article in the local paper where a cleaner in a shopping mall in Ajman found a wallet containing 55,000 Dhs (£10,000). In the same way as he had done with other finds in the past, he handed it in. This guy is on a wage of 750 Dhs (£130) per month. The tempation to pocket what is almost 7 years wages must have been enormous. The thing that struck me most about the story was that the rightful owner gave the man a mere 500Dhs as reward which he said he would send back to the family he hasn't seen in 2 years in India.

I'm not saying there is no crime or theft here, far from it, but there is certainly at a much lower level than back in the UK and there is a totally different attitude.

Sri Lanka

2009-04-17T08:10:00.015+03:00

Just back from 6 days in Sri Lanka - our first visit to that part of the world and a bit of an eye-opener.

There has been a war raging in Sri Lanka for a long time and the week before we travelled the UAE Government issued advice for citizens not to travel to the country 'except in extreme emergencies'. On the day we arrived, the Sri Lankan army announced that it had killed 453 troops. However, apart from some troops behind sandbags at the airport, there was no obvious signs of any conflict (which is mostly tucked away in a small part of the north anyway) and we felt perfectly safe the whole time. The Tamils have never targeted tourists and I don't think the threat of terrorism should put you off visiting.

We, rightly as it turned out, were concerned that any journey in Sri Lanka would be extremely slow and so picked a hotel quite close to the airport at Negombo.

Jetwing Beach Hotel

We had a couple of rooms on the ground floor which opened out to the pool. They were large, comfortable and had great bathrooms with huge baths and walk-in showers. They were also filled with mosquitoes the size of small horses but our chemical weapons and the hotel's chemical warfare man, who napalmed the whole of the outside of the hotel every evening, meant we weren't bothered unduly.

The hotel was good. Food was generally excellent and the staff friendly. However, on the down side, it was very expensive for what it was and you could not go on the beach without being pestered by hawkers selling expensive tat and people wanting you to sponsor a local school or similar scam. I had a general feeling of being viewed as a walking ATM machine - tips are expected by everyone and the amount you give never seems to be enough.

Highlight of the holiday was the visit to the elephant orphanage at Pinnewala. The sight of 60 elephants walking down the street to the river, with nothing between you and them, was amazing.

We all had a ride on an elephant as well. Extremely high up, and I think on balance we all prefer camels!

Post-Strobist

2009-04-17T07:34:00.002+03:00

At last years Gulf Photo Plus I spent the day photographing attractive models with Bobbi Lane and a bunch of pro photographers using available light. A hard act to follow. This year I spent two days in a classroom with David Hobby and didn't get to press the shutter once. Nor did we have any models - he just used the course attendees. However, David is the main man in this field (his blog has over 300,000 regular readers) and didn't disappoint. He packed loads into those 2 days and taught us not only nuts and bolts but, more importantly, how to think about lighting and how to approach any assignment (including some great ideas especially for me for photographing 3 hyperactive kids). There was a lot to take in, but I've come away with loads of ideas to try out in my own photography and I'm already seeing improvements in the pictures I'm taking.

Once again, GPP had a world class set of instructors. David Nightingale took some amazing pictures of Dubai, as published in his blog. My personal favourite was taken on my local beach, but the pictures taken by Zack Arias were also superb - especially the group photo of 29 people lit with just the one flash.

Strobist

2009-03-26T21:14:00.003+03:00

I've been impressed with David Hobby (aka Strobist) for quite some time and have signed up for his course at Gulf Photo Plus in Dubai next week. Essentially he preaches the use of small, off-camera, flashes and my Strobist kit arrived from the States last week. I still haven't entirely figured it out, but here's one of my first efforts using Ben as an unwilling subject.

It's all gone quiet

2009-03-17T18:06:00.002+03:00

Whilst not as bad as made out by some slightly hysterical and inaccurate reporting in the UK press (reports of 3,000 abandoned cars, for example, at the airport are complete nonsense and local media put the number at 11), it has definitely got much quieter. There is less traffic on the roads and I've noticed normally busy places obviously doing less business. Rents and property prices have also dropped sharply and reportedly half of all projects are now on hold. For me, this is not a bad thing as the rate of development, and the problems it brings, was unsustainable.

In spite of all the gloom in the world, business is still being done and, although I do know of people who have left (of their own free will or otherwise) there still seems a generally optimistic outlook and a view that things are better here than elsewhere in the world.

Twitter

2009-03-03T17:40:00.002+03:00

I've just found out about Twitter (independently from Stephen Fry and Tim Ferris). Since I think Facebook is primarily for the young (and grammatically challenged) this is more appealing to me and I think it's going to be the next big social networking thing. You can follow me here to see just how tedious my life generally is.

Hot

2009-03-01T20:15:00.004+03:00

In spite of having been here for over two years, I can't seem to rid myself of my British obsession with the weather. So here's the weather report. After a chilly start to February, it really has heated up over the past couple of weeks. It was 36 degrees at the weekend - only one degree less than the highest recorded February temperature. We also had strong winds and a sandstorm.

It was 29 degrees at the Road Runners on Saturday evening and my 6 year old, Ben, really struggled to get round Safa Park. Running is getting much harder now and I was proud of him for not giving up and making it round without stopping.

Doctor Who in Dubai

2009-02-19T04:36:00.005+03:00

Doctor Who is currently filming an episode in Dubai, due to be screened later in the year. They shipped in a big red London bus specially and now it is sat outside English College, just around the corner from our villa. As you can see from the picture I took this morning, it is rather battered. Apparently, the crane operator at Jebel Ali port dropped it and so there had to be a hasty rewrite of the script.

These aren't the only strange goings on in the desert. Last week I was sent an email with pictures showing a European family who had parked up by the side of the road and wandered into the desert for a picnic. A passing local, reportedly concerned, followed their tracks to see if they were OK before offering traditional hospitality of Arabic coffee.

For those not familiar with the Ruler of Dubai, this is Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum. Hard to imagine any other world leader doing this kind of thing.

I also received a picture this week of a car outside the Mall of the Emirates whose body is made of gold. What credit crunch?

Snow

2009-01-26T11:40:00.003+03:00

Whilst I wouldn't expect any sympathy from UK readers, it has been a bit chilly here recently. In fact, for the first time in living memory it snowed in the hills of the most northerly emirate, Ras Al Khaimah. Apparently the local dialect has no word for snow!

More amazingly, Ras Al Khaimah has plans to make Jebel Jais into an outdoor ski resort using some Australian technology that will allow you to ski in temperatures up to 35 degrees C.

Knees, bottom, shoulders

2009-01-24T20:18:00.004+03:00

Max and Ben both play for the Dubai mini-Hurricanes Rugby Club in the U-4s and U-7s respectively. This week we were on the main pitch at The Sevens where the Rugby World Cup is due to be played soon. I took this video of Max strutting his stuff (on my phone so the quality isn't great) and learning how to fall over.

Dubai 10K

2009-01-16T22:06:00.004+03:00

My third Dubai 10K today, at the unfathomably early time of 06.45, went better than the previous two. I plodded around in a slightly faster than expected time of 51 minutes. It was well organised and a good event to be part of. However, it was cold and heavy rain just prevented Haile Gebreselassie from breaking his own world record in the main event of the marathon. Mind you, he still picked up $250k for winning - not bad for 2 hours and 5 minutes of effort.

The best part of the day came later at 11, when it had warmed up a little, and I proudly ran round the 3K fun run with my 8 year old daughter Lucy.

Dusk at DOSC

2009-01-02T18:37:00.006+03:00

Our new villa is only a couple of minutes from the beach at DOSC (Dubai Offshore Sailing Club). You can't swim at the moment because of illegal sewage dumping in the storm drains, but that's another story.

I took the kids down there this evening to kick a ball about and take a few pictures. There was a beautiful sunset over Atlantis but unfortunately the sun drops like a stone and it was almost gone before I could get the camera out.

We had a lovely time, kids just messing around in the sand, watching fishermen mend their nets and people walking and running at sunset. Simple pleasures are often the best.

Happy New Year

2008-12-31T12:37:00.003+03:00

And a belated Merry Christmas to all our friends and family (who may have gathered by now that we stayed in Dubai for a relaxing Christmas again this year).

Sheikh Mohammed has put a last minute spanner in the works of all the planned New Year's events in the Emirate. As a token of support to the people in Gaza he has ordered that all celebrations be cancelled. I have some sympathy with the gesture, although I may not have been so happy if we'd forked out 3,000 Dhs each to see the fireworks at the Burj al Arab and Jumeirah Beach hotel. The Beckhams, Tom Cruise and Hugh Grant (all reportedly in town) will have to put up with a very expensive meal with no music or dancing.

Anyway, we've had a good Christmas and Santa was extremely generous to all.

Where did November go?

2008-12-07T19:24:00.006+03:00

I feel like I've just sat down, caught my breath, and realised that the year is nearly over.

The kids have now finished school and will only be there for 4 days in December. Hardly worth bothering. We had planned to go on holiday this week but the two screws holding Janet's ankle together have put paid to that. It's a frustrating time for her and things should get much easier after she's had them removed on the 21st December.

Although we have had quite a bit of rain over the past week, this is probably the best time of year in the Emirates. The unbearably hot and hazy days of summer have been replaced by blue skies, gentle breezes and pleasant temperatures. The AC is off and shouldn't be needed much for the next few months.

Ben played in his second rugby tournament last week. His team, Dubai Hurricanes U-7s, were much improved but were knocked out at the pool stage. At least they won one game and got a medal for turning up. The main thing though is the amount of fun they all had and it was great to see the first signs of teamwork blossoming.

The main social highlight of the month was Lucy's 8th birthday party. She invited her friends round to our villa for a pool party and it all went off very successfully.

The other main news in the Dubai for the month includes the sex on the beach case fizzling out with them being quietly deported, the arrival of the QE2 to it's new home as a hotel on the Palm Jumeirah, the grand opening of Atlantis with the world's largest firework display - only to be trumped by an even bigger one at Emirates Palace on UAE National Day.

Oh, and the credit crunch well and truly arrived. House prices sliding, people being 'retrenched', projects put 'on hold', Dubai revealed to be $80bn in debt. Pretty much the same as everywhere else then.

You heard it here first

2008-10-20T20:06:00.002+03:00

Spotted at the kids school, JESS, this afternoon was none other than Andrew 'Freddie' Flintoff, the best all-rounder in the world (yes, I do know about Jacob Oram). He was being shown round with his children. Needless to say, he wasn't spotted by my wife as he came into her classroom. She just thought it was a big man who rudely didn't take his cap off and whose child had to be told off for rooting through her drawers. Who knows, perhaps Mrs Flintoff has had enough of being abandoned in Preston every winter as he jets off to sunnier climes? I, for one, wouldn't blame her.

I have been at JESS quite a bit myself in the past week doing drop offs and pick ups. Janet twisted and slipped on some inocuous looking steps as we were leaving a friends party. It looked for all the world as if she had just sprained her ankle. It was only when we went to the hospital the next morning that the x-ray confirmed a nasty break and a maisonneuve fracture of the ankle. She's having an operation in the morning to put a couple of screws in.

Atlantis

2008-10-02T19:16:00.004+03:00

Eid al Fitr came a day earlier, and hence Ramadan finished a day earlier, than expected thanks to the keen eyes of the Moon Spotting Committee. The children have been on holiday all week and I took time off too. I did try to book a trip away but pretty much every hotel room in the Emirates was booked. Not to worry - this week we've been tourists in our own city.

The latest Dubai 'Mega-Project' to be completed is the Atlantis Hotel on Palm Jumeirah. Coined 'The Eighth Chunder of the World' by The Sun, this hotel is enormous - 1,539 rooms and over 1.5km long. It opened on the 24th September as planned in spite of a last minute fire on the roof of the reception. Some people we know who were staying there complained bitterly about the noise the construction workers were making throughout the night trying to put it right.

Anyway, we had a great day out there. It wasn't busy and they were obviously geared up for several times more tourists. The rides were good although we didn't try the 'leap of faith' - the near vertical drop into a tube through a shark filled tank. The rides probably were no better than Wild Wadi, although there is a much better sense of space as it is six times bigger. Still, it's not a cheap day out. For 5 people, with a fast food lunch, it costs over £200.

Iftar Rush

2008-09-11T07:23:00.004+03:00

I spent today in Abu Dhabi. It was only meant to be a short meeting, but in the end it lasted all day. The Welsh guy I was visiting has only been in Abu Dhabi for 2 weeks, after spending the last five years in the south of France. As such, he is not yet ‘culturally attuned’ and must have wondered why I was so eager to leave and get back to Dubai before Iftar, the fast breaking meal.

What he didn’t realise was that many muslims stay up most of the night during Ramadan and don’t eat, drink or smoke before Iftar. As a result, they are tired, hungry, thirsty, craving nicotine and desperate to be home for Iftar. The road between Abu Dhabi and Dubai turns into a version of Wacky Races, only at much higher speeds (the speed cameras don't go off until over 100 mph). Four accidents held me up, thankfully none too serious, but police have urged people to stay off the roads due to a surge in road deaths.

Ramadan is a quiet period and there hasn't been too much to blog about. We had a little bit of excitement last week as we felt the tremors from a decent sized earthquake in Iran. All of the high rise offices where I work on Sheikh Zayed Road shook alarmingly and everybody spontaneously evacuated. All, that is, apart from my friend Scott. He was obviously engrossed in whatever he was doing in the bathroom, didn't feel the earth move, and, on his return, was completely at a loss to explain why the entire office building had turned into the Marie Celeste!

I've joined a local running club, Dubai Road Runners, in another attempt to get fit and lose weight. They have an event every Saturday evening when you run around Safa Park and predict how long it will take you. The results are published on their website, where you can see how pathetically slow I am at the moment. In my defence though it has been quite warm. The temperature for the last run was at least 35 degrees with 80% humidity. I'm quite pleased with myself that I can run in this at all.

A few weeks ago I was involved in a meeting in Jebel Ali with quite a few attendees from Qatar. The boss, an amiable Egyptian, came up to me, shook hands, smiled and said 'saba al khair'. I looked back at him blankly. 'You've been here two years', he said, 'and you can't even say good morning'. I felt slightly embarrassed and decided to start arabic lessons. Janet has joined me to, and we've been going to the University of Wollongong three times a week to learn arabic from a lovely Jordanian girl called Feda Shtia (I kid you not).

The language is not easy. Twenty eight letters, each of which can be pronounced in 4 different ways depending on whether it has a short vowel or not. To confuse things further, the short vowels aren't needed by fluent arabic speakers and so they generally aren't written down. However, I think we are starting to get the hang of it. There is a certain beauty in the arabic script and I have been enjoying starting to be able to read the previously illegible squiggles. There is no letter p in arabic and it is generally replaced by the letter b. I was particularly pleased to be able to read this evening that my local supermarket is called 'bark n shop'!

Ramadan Readiness

2008-08-30T20:41:00.006+03:00

Ramadan starts on Monday, the first of September, the day the kids start at their new school JESS. For Max, aged 3, it will be his first ever day at school. They start them young here.

It will be our third Ramadan in Dubai and I suspect, now that we know the ropes, it will be significantly easier than the previous two.

I went up on the roof of our new villa to take some photos. Below is the Burj Dubai, the tallest free standing structure in the world and not even finished. The skyscrapers surrounding it are all about the size of Canary Wharf tower in London.

Most of our neighbours leave in slightly more impressive villas than we do...

Still, this is our (shared) garden. Not bad.

Ten little Indians

2008-08-07T22:49:00.002+03:00

We moved yesterday. Up there, they say, stress wise, with death and divorce.

At 9 o'clock lots of little Indian men came into the house. 'There are ten of us', the main man said. This was only packers and didn't include supervisors (who did precisely nothing) and drivers (slightly less than nothing). Their numbers swelled to 14 packers by mid afternoon. At one point they formed a human chain shifting boxes and furniture much in the same way as I imagine fires were fought with buckets of water before the hosepipe was invented. This was moving Dubai style, and extremely impressive it was too. We contrasted it with our last move in the UK when two old overweight men, sans packing, loaded our stuff into a van for twice as much money.

When they finally left at 8 in the evening our house had been miraculously transported into the new villa. Although there are still a few teething problems, it's hard to imagine how things could have gone better.

We've also just returned from two weeks holiday back home in the UK visiting friends and family, all of whom did their best to fatten us up further. The weather was generally kind to us. However, once you have experienced summer in the UAE it is hard to take seriously complaints that 27 degrees is 'too hot'. When we landed at Dubai Airport on our return, at 1.30 in the morning, it was 36 degrees.

Moving

2008-07-16T05:30:00.002+03:00

All three kids are moving to the school where Janet teaches, JESS, in September. The school is in Jumeirah and a bit of a trek from our current villa in the Meadows. So, we've taken the decision to move and last month I duly informed the Landlord that we would not be renewing our lease this year. He must be delighted. Rental prices just continue to go up and up. A quick look on the Better Homes website showed that the cheapest villa for rent in the Meadows is 400,000 Dhs per year (£56,000 per year). Not many people even earn that much. To put it in perspective, our current rent is 165,000 Dhs per year (£23,000) - a bargain by comparison. To make it even worse, paying monthly is totally unheard of and one cheque for the whole lot is the norm, two if you're lucky. Plenty of banks will lend you this money but, unless your company is paying it, renting in Dubai is a very expensive business.

So, naturally, I was nervous about trying to find somewhere amidst the Jumeriah Janes and rich Emiratis in the most fashionable and expensive part of town. There is no point looking too soon either. Properties are snapped up so fast you have to take it there and then if you want it.

Anyway, for once, after a bit of persistence we have well and truly landed on our feet. One of Janet's colleagues husband was moved by his company to Singapore in May. We went to their leaving party (where expats dispose of their alcohol supplies) at their government owned villa in a particularly posh bit of Al Safa 2. I have been phoning the number on the outside of the villa most days for a couple of months with absolutely no joy other than I had to 'speak to Mohammed'. Eventually we had a bit of luck and the Caretaker provided Janet with Mohammed's number. 'Yes, you can have', he said. I couldn't believe it was still available and rushed over to their office in Karama the next day with a wedge of 500Dh notes as deposit. We've (or more accurately, my company) paid 280,000 Dhs. A lot of money but unbelievably cheap by comparison. The location is perfect. The supermarket, booze shop and restaurants are at the top of the next street. School is two minutes away and the main motorway, Sheikh Zayed Road, just around the corner. Our neighbours are the Chinese and Tanzanian Consultates and a bunch of mansions.

The villa is not quite as big as the place we're in now, but has 4 ensuite bedrooms and a gate leads to a lovely communal area (shared by 8 villas) with a swimming pool and gym. Not exactly slumming it, in fact.

Schools Out

2008-07-05T07:09:00.009+03:00

And not before time. Schools here finished at the end of June - a full month before UK schools - but it felt like the end would never come. The kids have all been crabby and suffering from a rash called slapped cheek, which looks worse than it is. Lucy has also had a lingering ear infection which three useless doctors failed to sort out.

It’s very, very hot at the moment. The temperature in Abu Dhabi reached 51.4 degrees earlier in the week and 49 degrees near us in Jebel Ali. It is hard to describe just how hot 50 degrees is. The air you breathe is hot and unpleasant. You break out in a profuse sweat and staying outside for more than a few minutes is pretty much unbearable. The human body, no matter how well acclimatised, is just not designed to cope. People here know this full well and the Government bans outside working between 12.30 and 3pm for July and August. Except, that is, in the Free Zone. When I visit one of my clients with 3,000 employees in Jebel Ali they are all outside, welding and the like, all day long. I honestly have no idea how they do it. And all for a little over a £100 a month.

Back to more trivial matters. I've finally got rid of the nasty Pajero and replaced it with a beautiful red Saab convertible. The mid-life crisis, it seems, continues unabated. As the Sales Manager, a Jamie Oliver look and sound-alike, said 'lots of western expats feel the need to get the convertible thing out of their system'. Well, why not? At least we have the climate for it.

Yesterday was the 4th July and Lucy went to a party at Emirates Golf Club with her Californian friend Isabel and her parents. There was a 70s theme and Janet spent most of the morning making her outfit for her. She looked wonderful - and, yes, she really is only seven.

Mobile Blogging

2008-06-17T07:02:00.003+03:00

I'm writing this in a cafe in Abu Dhabi. I am struck by how I seem to be the only one not smoking and realise how much more pleasant the Dubai malls and hotels are now that the smoking ban is in effect. Anyway, I don't have my laptop with me and I'm using my latest gadget, a Nokia N95 8GB mobile phone and a portable Stowaway keyboard.

It is fair to say that I, like many men, have a predilection for gadgets. This is not reciprocated at home and I'm not allowed to talk about it (Rule number one, 'Do not bore her').

This phone is amazing. I've had it a while but am only now starting to delve a little deeper into what it can do. It's so good that Reuters have been running trials issuing them to journalists to replace all the kit that they cart around.

Apart from the obvious things like email, Skype, internet browsing, mp3 and superb video player (good as a PSP) it also has a very good satnav system (although the map is struggling to keep up with the changes in the Dubai road system). My new favourite application, Sports Tracker, logs your running/cycling route, tells you your speed as you go along and then uploads the details and route (which can be laid over Google Earth) to a diary on the web.

The camera, 5MP, and video camera are also excellent. One other thing I like to do to feel like I'm keeping in touch with the UK is downloading podcasts, mostly from the BBC, to listen to in the car on the way to work. Now I no longer have to miss my weekly dose of the Jonathan Ross show, and it's much better than the dire radio stations here.

Life has been hectic recently, but should calm down a bit when school finishes next week. Last weekend was the school end of term party for the teachers. I was sat next to a very likeable Iranian banker, Hamid, who had lived in the UK for the majority of his life. He told me he had lived in Iran for a few years but preferred Dubai. I noticed he had a beer so asked him if there was any alcohol in Iran. He replied that when his container arrived at the docks in Iran the customs officer asked him if there was any alcohol in it. Of course he said no. 'What are you going to do for alcohol then?', asked the man, and gave him the phone number of someone who delivered! Apparently it's easier for a Muslim to buy booze in Tehran than Dubai!

Who ate all the pies?

2008-06-01T20:01:00.002+03:00

When I was a young man I used to tease my father no end about his ever increasing girth. 'It'll come to you one day, and then you won't be laughing' was his usual response. 'Nonsense', I would always say, 'I'll never be fat like that'. Several sessions of judo a week, weights and circuit training meant I could pretty well eat and drink what I wanted and still comfortably compete in judo competitions at under 65kg (about 10 stone). Well, that was then. On Thursday evening, getting ready to go to a party I realised that not only were my trousers uncomfortably tight, but that my shirt wouldn't button up properly. The scales indicated that my weight has gone up to over 80kgs and my father's prophecy has come to pass.

At least I am not alone. There is a phenomenon here known as the 'Dubai Stone'. Basically it arises from eating out a lot at 'all you can eat buffets', drinking too much and becoming lazy because of the heat. I'm obviously going to have to do something about it. But, it's not easy. I've just come back from a short two mile run at 8.30 at night. The temperature is still in the mid-thirties and I'm a sweaty wreck. Anyway, at least my legs aren't the same pasty white that they have been for the past 40 years - small mercies indeed.

It really is starting to get hot now, and you can sense the gradual slowdown that greets the start of the seriously hot summer weather yet to come. It's still not too hot that you can't go out though. Last week was half term and we went over to Fujairah again for a short break. This time we stayed at the Rotana hotel, and very pleasant it was too - no shortage of 'all you can eat buffets'...

Aerial View

2008-05-14T15:54:00.003+03:00

I travelled to Bahrain earlier in the week. The plane took a flight path I haven't been on before, more or less parallel to the city. It was a clear day, I had a perfect view, and the views were spectacular. I was a bit slow to get my camera out but I took this picture of the Palm as we banked around and headed out to sea.

Dubai really is starting to take shape and it is an exciting place to be at the moment.

Gulf Photo Plus

2008-04-29T19:30:00.010+03:00

Today I've been on a course taking portraits using natural light at Gulf Photo Plus 2008, with the American photographer Bobbi Lane. I had a great time and learnt a lot - not least of which was lot of the funny buttons on my camera do.

It was supposed to be for 'confident beginners', but it was clear that many of the attendees were professional photographers. This made me a little nervous to start, but it was OK as we got going. In the morning I was in a group with a couple of Russian girls. Olga, model turned photographer, was great and really knew how to get the best out of the model. The afternoon wasn't as good, I was in a different group, and we didn't really hit it off with the models.

Anyway, a few of the best pics I took are below. There is another part to the course on Thursday evening when I learn how to improve them in Photoshop.

I don't like any of them as much as this one taken of Ben in the bath last week though.

48 hours of H E L L

2008-04-21T12:08:00.002+03:00

This is how the wonderfully named Dr Millicent Grim, consultant opthalmologist, described corneal erosion.

I'd been watering the plants in the garden with the youngest one. As I carried him back into the house he reached to push the patio door shut. His hand slipped off and he caught me smack in the middle of my eyeball with a stunning right cross which ripped away a piece of the protective epithelium. The pain is excruciating.

If you ever have the misfortune to suffer this type of injury, I have two pieces of advice. One, go to the doctor straight away and get a pain killer and a 'bandage contact lens' put in. Do not suffer a painful, sleepless night as I did. Two, keep out of the light. Do not try, as I did, to make a short walk to the clinic in Dubai sunshine without sunglasses on. The scattered light will crucify you.

Swimming with sharks

2008-04-13T14:12:00.010+03:00

A couple of hours from Dubai, and squeezed between the Hajar mountains, the Fujairah coastal road and the sea is the JAL resort hotel. We've just returned from a short four day holiday there.

First impressions are not favourable. The outside of the hotel is ugly (the Lonely Planet calls it 'a post-modern mish-mash') and the entrance nondescript. However, things improve once you get in. Our room was excellent and close to the pool and beach. It was also very quiet with no need to get up and reserve sunbeds (although that didn't stop some people).

Highlight of the trip was the snorkelling we all went on to Dibba Rock, just a few minutes ride offshore in a dinghy. Max wouldn't go in, but the other two both donned full snorkel equipment and were guided around the reef by our guide. He pointed out a reef shark, which I missed unfortunately. Lucy got worried by the appearance of the shark and went hastily back into the boat!

It was noticeable, especially at the weekends, that a lot of people take their maids with them to look after the kids. Some locals have one maid per child ...

Food was pretty good, although not cheap because you are a bit of a captive audience. The arabic restaurant was good (kids liked the belly dancer) and the teppanyaki Japanese restaurant excellent (even though the chef was called Pong).

Celebrity One-upmanship

2008-04-06T13:17:00.002+03:00

Last Thursday we ate at an Indian Restaurant at the Madinat called Ushna which was, as usual, very good. My jaw dropped slightly when Greg Norman came and sat directly next to us on the next table. I mentioned it casually to my colleague at work this morning. He replied by saying that his parents were over visiting, also staying at the Madinat, and that they had bumped into George Clooney over the weekend!

My personal 'celebrity' tally in Dubai now runs to Peter Schmeichel at The Montgomerie golf club, Chris Eubanks in Starbucks, Johnny Herbert and Jean Alesi at the Autodrome. Our friend Jan has also notched up Frankie Dettori and Colin Montgomerie. I'm still keeping an eye out for Jim Davidson ...

Fireworks

2008-03-31T05:53:00.002+03:00

A thick pall of black smoke hung over the city on Wednesday morning. A massive explosion in an illegal firework warehouse in the Al Quoz industrial area has already claimed 8 lives and caused chaos throughout the city. Schools were (pointlessly) evacuated and traffic was brought to a virtual standstill by rubber neckers.

There were more fireworks at the Dubai World Cup, the world's richest horse race and the premier social event of the year in Dubai. The hat shops certainly did well this week as Dubai's beautiful people preened themselves on the paddock lawns. I will remember it for ridiculous queues of over an hour to get in and an ugly scramble to get on the buses back to the car park and taxi rank afterwards. The fireworks were good though.

New traffic laws

2008-03-11T17:10:00.004+03:00

With a great fanfare, new traffic laws were introduced at the beginning of the month. Fines have been increased and there is now a 'black points' system which means that you can lose your licence for a while. According to the Chief of Police the new system will reduce traffic accidents and make roads safer for motorists and pedestrians. However, the black points are not as bad as the UK point system and are even reset every year. For example, I'm ashamed to say that I have had 5 speeding fines in the past year from cameras. A couple of these are for travelling in excess of 100mph on my regular trip to Abu Dhabi. Believe me, it's not like I'm anywhere near the fastest on the road and the speed limit is 100mph. In the UK I would have received a ban. In the new system I wouldn't get any black points for these offences - just a 200 Dhs (30 quid) fine.

I've seen how much difference this new law has made in the Emirates. Precisely none. Idiotic driving carries on as normal. The worst crash since I've been here happened this morning. Over 200 cars involved in a huge pile up in fog on the way from Dubai to Abu Dhabi. 141 injuries and 8 fatalities. All depressingly familiar and predictable. This video gives an idea of the carnage.

Wrong kind of blow job

2008-03-07T20:48:00.003+03:00

In a bad week, when I have been unable to shake off a cold, this story from the Gulf News made me laugh (for those not familiar with local laws, relationships with the opposite sex outside of wedlock is strictly forbidden).

Lovers exchange blows after man breaks wind
By Bassam Za'za', Senior
ReporterPublished: March 05, 2008, 00:36
Dubai: Two lovers are standing trial
for having an illicit relationship and exchanging blows after the man broke wind
while in bed.
The Dubai Public Prosecution charged the Asian man with having
consensual sex with his compatriot female who was also charged with allowing him
to sleep with her.
The duo, in their 20s, were also charged with hitting
each other.
The lovers who stood trial before the Dubai Court of Misdemeanour
on Tuesday confessed to having an illicit relation.
When the judge asked
them why they assaulted each other, the girl claimed that her lover broke wind
and they had a heated argument which degenerated into an assault.
The two
suspects, who are currently on bail, reported the fight to the police which
questioned them before forwarding them to the Public Prosecution.
A ruling
will be issued soon.

Warming Up

2008-03-02T20:03:00.008+03:00

Six weeks without a blog entry. Not good. In my defence, we have been quite busy, but really there is no excuse - just laziness.

It has been, not to put too fine a point on it, quite chilly of late in the Emirates. I know this is hard to believe but we are just not prepared for any kind of sub 20 degree weather. I think it's a combination of no heating and having gone completely soft. I even had to go out and buy a jacket and have been forced into borrowing one of my wife's larger sweatshirts on a couple of occasions. Anyway, it seems to be warming up now and it's OK to sit out and eat in the evenings again.

This is a good time of year for sport in Dubai. We had the marathon (including a dire performance by me in the 10K), the Dubai Desert Classic (Tiger Woods amazing again) and the tennis championships. Ben had his own triumph at The Montgomerie Young Golfer Awards - out of over 100 kids he was voted 'Best dressed golfer'! He was absolutely thrilled. All we need now is for him to learn how to hit the ball!

We went to the Speedcar Championships at Dubai Autodrome featuring ex formula one stars Johnny Herbert and Jean Alesi. Thanks to some tenuous connection with school we got access all areas on the start grid before the race. Johnny Herbert was very chatty and put Max into his car.

A funny old week

2008-01-16T17:49:00.000+03:00

There was an eerie silence to the main roads on Monday. The whole city came to a complete halt for the visit of George Bush.

Traffic came to a standstill for about nine hours on Monday with
arterial roads being blocked as part of security measures for US President
George W. Bush's visit to the city. Road diversion plans were changed without
any intimation, leaving thousands of motorists stationary. Many took between
five to eight hours to travel to their destinations

In the aftermath of the chaos caused by the George Bush visit came the heaviest rains ever recorded in Dubai (110mm) in January. Needless to say, the drains are designed for desert conditions and were completely overwhelmed.

I took over 3 hours to get to work yesterday. Many people never made it. Driving conditions were atrocious. Five people were killed and 500 accidents were reported by 10.00. I saw lots of people who obviously wished they hadn't driven their saloon cars into flooded roads.

The kids school closed due to water causing electrical short circuits and then the Ministry of Education announced that all schools would be shut be for the rest of the week (even though it has now stopped raining and most of the floodwater has gone!). Quite the strangest week I've had here.

Let's hear it for the President

2008-01-14T05:35:00.000+03:00

George Bush was in Abu Dhabi yesterday and the Dubai police spent the day practicing closing roads.

A combination of heavy rain and rumours of mass road closures across the city for US president George W. Bush’s visit brought traffic to a standstill in Dubai on Sunday.

Frustrated motorists reported taking hours to get to and from work as confusion surrounding which and when roads would be closed led massive tailbacks on many roads across the city for much of the day.

Then, late in the afternoon, it was announced that today will be a public holiday. The whole economy brought to a standstill for a day so that one man can do a bit of sightseeing and have a cup of tea at the Burj al Arab...

More interesting yesterday was the news that the UAE has signed a deal with the French to build two nuclear reactors. In a country with enough oil and gas for a very long time to come this strikes me as being extremely odd.

Happy Christmas

2007-12-21T08:12:00.000+03:00

We won't be coming back to England this year, so Happy Christmas to all our friends and family. The kids have finished school and are now excitedly looking forward to our first Christmas overseas.

The weather at the moment here is great. Yesterday, we went down to the Plant Souk in Jadaf and bought a load of bedding plants, herbs and tomato plants!

Beware of Jaguars

2007-11-21T08:27:00.000+03:00

This happened on the road I drive down every morning after I have dropped Max off at Nursery.

In the footsteps of Lawrence

2007-11-17T19:30:00.000+03:00

I'm just back from a 3 day business trip to Yanbu, near Mecca and Jeddah, in Saudi Arabia. This place was notable for being home to Lawrence of Arabia for a while during the Arab Revolt and is reputedly the home of King Solomon Mines. Now it is an unpleasant small industrial city full of big oil refineries, gas plants and petrochemical works. If there is another reason for going there, it wasn't obvious.

I didn't want to come to Saudi Arabia, and neither did my wife want me to. As I sat in Jeddah airport I mused that the best thing to come out of this country is the Emirates flight to Dubai. However, sometimes, needs must. We really should have sent the woman who is doing the work on the project but, in a country where women still can't drive and have to cover themselves completely, it just isn't possible to get a visa.

The journey over was very difficult. Heavy fog meant a hazardous late night drive over to Abu Dhabi airport only to find that airport was closed to all flights. Can someone please tell me why a modern airliner cannot take off in fog? These things practically fly themselves and radar tells you where all other planes are. I genuinely can't understand it, but assume it must be something to do with pilots not trusting computers. We finally took off almost 10 hours late after an uncomfortable night trying to grab some sleep. Why the hell can't the airline call you and tell you not to come when they know the place is closed and doesn't look like re-opening? Better for everyone surely?

On the plane I felt like I was travelling to a Ghandi convention. It was full of Indian muslims, dressed in towelling robes, making their obligatory once in a lifetime pilgrimage to Mecca (known as the Haj and Umrah). Jeddah is the nearest airport and the numbers who come here, around two million per year, are staggering. For the full duration of the two and a half hour flight, the Imam chanted ceaselessly, gasping only occasionally for breath. Thankfully, business class passengers were excused the incantation.

The late departure of the plane meant that the connecting flight to Yanbu had gone. The only option was a 350km taxi ride. I was wary of this and always like travel plans to be made well in advance and pre-booked 'in-Kingdom' (as expats refer to it). Although the Saudis are boastful of recent successes against terrorists, it was still in my mind that attacks on westerners are not unheard of and, indeed, seven people were shot dead at the refinery I was visiting in 2004.

Security is all around you. There are police check points on every major road and you have to stop, and occasionally show your passport. Expat hotels are surrounded by barbed wire and guarded by police cars. Security at the refinery was even tighter with many, many armed police with machine guns. I got the impression they wouldn't hesitate to use them.

The taxi driver was a Saudi, probably in his late sixties, with a terrible cataract in one eye and a squint in the other. He didn't know where he was going and he spoke no English whatsoever. This, coupled with the appalling standard of driving (much worse than Dubai), filled me with dread. However, he got us there with very little incident, although when he pulled off the road in the middle of nowhere I was worried he was calling up his Al-Qaeda brothers in arms. Visions of kneeling in an orange jump suit on Al Jazeera flashed through my mind. The truth was, as usual, more prosaic. He only wanted to pray and chuck his rubbish into the desert!

View from the top

2007-11-14T18:06:00.000+03:00

This is the view from the top of the world's tallest building, the Burj Dubai, when it was 134 stories, or about 550m, high. It is now nearer 160 and there is still a way to go. The final projected height is thought to be 818m.

To give an idea of scale, the other skyscrapers in the picture are around 50 stories (the height of Canary Wharf tower).

Breast Cancer Fashion Show

2007-10-19T18:54:00.000+03:00

October is international breast cancer awareness month. Last night we went to a breast cancer survivors fashion show at the upmarket BurJuman shopping mall in Bur Dubai. The show starred our friend Jan (above), with guest appearances from sons Jamie (below) and Joe, and husband Craig.

Jan has just finished a long course of chemotherapy and is now starting a course of radiotherapy in Abu Dhabi. She has remained brave and courageous throughout, kept her sense of humour and perspective, and has impressed us all with her determination to get through it.

I pushed my way to the front with the paparazzi and the TV cameras and had a good time taking loads of pictures (the event was a good excuse to treat myself to a new flash gun!).

Last week was half term in Dubai to coincide with the Eid holidays. We made the 5 hour trip (thanks to painfully slow officials at the visa office) to Muscat and the Intercontinental Hotel. Muscat is a pleasant enough place. Greener and cooler than Dubai, it was strange to see fields of crops and tractors in the countryside en-route. There is very little traffic and the sand, which is all pervasive in Dubai, was mostly absent.

However, I don't think we'll go back again on holiday. Oman is a much more conservative place than the Emirates - women do cover up in public - and has little to offer the tourist with a young family other than the swimming pool and beach. We have plenty of these in Dubai and Abu Dhabi, and of a better quality than the hotel we stayed in.

I've blogged before about newspapers and how they give you a good idea about the state of democracy and free speech in a country. Omani newspapers are much like the ones in the rest of the region. One particular front page story in the Times of Oman on Tuesday went along the lines of 'His Highness Sultan Qaboos bin Said today received a letter of thanks from Sheikh Blah-Blah thanking him for his kind Eid wishes'. Riveting stuff, but journalists in the middle east are not allowed to criticise basically anyone in authority. The penalties are usually jail terms, but in a welcome move in Dubai, Sheikh Mohammed (the ruler of Dubai) has decreed that journalists should not be sent to jail for 'reasons related to their work'. I hope it also applies to bloggers since there have been cases here of people being jailed for defamation on internet sites.

Ramadan ramblings

2007-10-07T04:30:00.000+03:00

Ramadan is the ninth month of the Islamic calendar and we're now into the last week before Eid - the three day celebration at the end. Last year, Ramadan was a very hard time for us. We were trying to furnish a home from scratch and we didn't really know our way around. We didn't know that it was alright for the kids to eat and drink. Although there is no eating and drinking in public for adults during daylight, we now know that it is always possible to find somewhere that's open if you know where to look. There is no alcohol before 7pm - the Bailey's cheescake was off limits last week when we went to the golf club for lunch - but this is very moderate by middle east standards and most countries in the region are completely dry during Ramadan.

The weather has definitely cooled down now and the AC doesn't need to be on full tilt all the time. Last months bill for electricity and water was nearly £300, but that will soon drop to more reasonable levels. One sure sign of cooler weather is that the kids are now playing out at school every day. The equivalent of what we used to call a 'wet break' at school is a 'red break' here (i.e. over 40 degrees).

Next week is half term and we're going to Muscat in Oman for a few days holiday. I've only heard positive things about the place, and I'm really looking forward to the break.

I've been enjoying teaching myself how to use Photoshop. Even the lousiest photo can be made into something useful. The pic below is one I've done of a friend's daughter and had blown up into a poster for them. Andy Warhol eat your heart out.

Pace of change

2007-09-10T11:19:00.000+03:00

I recently came across these 2 photos. The first shows Sheikh Zayed Road near the Trade Centre in 1991.

The second is more recent, but even this is out of date. There is almost nowhere else on earth where you can watch a city grow up around you at such an amazing speed.

Chastised

2007-09-01T19:45:00.000+03:00

I've been told off by mother for not updating the blog or phoning her often enough. As I explained to her, this is mainly because nothing of note has really happened since we got back from Australia. It has been hot. We've spent a lot of time indoors and the children have been increasingly badly behaved. They are back at school tomorrow and Max is starting at nursery full time. I've now managed to get the cheap calls back by cunning use of something called a VPN (virtual private network) which links you securely to a server beyond the reach of the local proxy server (censor).

We had some drama last week when, after a long brunch at the JW Marriott, Max caught his hand in a faulty lift door. He got a nasty cut in his finger which needed three stitches. It was all a bit traumatic as we were sent from one hospital to another, I got us lost trying to find it, and he was very distressed by the stitches and had to be sedated. Thankfully he is fine now and had his stitches out, after charming all the nurses all week when they changed his dressings, yesterday.

I have made my first tentative steps back to playing golf after having met a couple of people who play at the Montgomerie golf club. It is an extremely smart place and the waiting list is so long they aren't accepting any more names. I've used the practice facilities and am now looking forward to my first round (now that I've scrounged a set of clubs off another friend).

After having sacked our maid just before going to Australia, we have now hired a full time, live-in, maid from Sri Lanka called Harshi. Apparently she was a graphic designer in Sri Lanka but has been working more profitably in Dubai as a housemaid. At the end of the interview, we asked her when she could start. "Now, Madam" she said. And she meant it - all her worldly goods were in the taxi waiting outside - and she promptly moved in. I am finding it strange having someone else living in the house, but I imagine I'll get used to it, and it is good to have babysitting on tap.

If it all works out with Harshi then we will take over her sponsorship from the Local (i.e. Emirati) who is currently sponsoring her. This will cost us about 7,000 Dhs (around £1,000) per year. There is a bit of a racket here in that Locals can sponsor twenty or so people for next to nothing. These people then pay a fat fee to their sponsor and then go and work illegally for expats like us. The government has just had an amnesty for illegal workers so that they can either legalise their status or leave without fear of prison. There are estimated to be 350,000 illegal workers and the queues at the immigration place have to be seen to be believed. One of the problems is that people come in on visit visas, ostensibly to visit family, but in reality to find work. Once their visa has expired there is a fine of 100 Dhs per day. Since most maids/labourers earn less than 50 Dhs per day the fine soon mounts and they can't afford to leave and have to stay and work illegally.

Anniversary

2007-08-18T19:34:00.000+03:00

It's now exactly a year since we packed our bags and flew out to Dubai. It hasn't been easy, but we all now think of this of home. I've just renewed the rent on the villa (you have to pay a whole year in advance) so we're here for at least another year. The Dubai housing market has gone completely mad and if we were arriving now we wouldn't be able to afford anything like the villa that we're in (two bedroom flats are going for the same money - £2,000 per month).

The weather has been extremely hot in the last few weeks, although apparently the summer is now more than half way through. "Mercury highs in the high 40s will decline to around 35C starting October and just above 30C by November", said Worger (Met Office forecaster). In spite of this, it is still possible to go out. We spent today at Dreamland water park and had a great time.

Anyway, if it gets too hot you can always go to the Chill Out bar - completely made of ice. There's another video on YouTube from SecretDubai which is uncannily like my typical drive to and from work every day.

Justice - Dubai Style

2007-07-30T12:19:00.000+03:00

I don't intend this blog to become political in any way, but I was shocked to read these 2 stories side by side in this mornings newspaper. Draw your own conclusions.

Dubai - Brits jailed for drugs

Two British men have each been sentencd to four years in prison after being found in possesion of small amounts of hashish while entering the UAE through Dubai International Airport last month.

The actual amounts of hashish were 0.11g and 1.18g.

Dubai - Drunken motorist locked up

Dubai - A UAE national was jailed for one year and fined dhs5,000 for hitting a motorcyclist and killing him while driving his car drunk.

Back from Oz

2007-07-23T20:15:00.000+03:00

We've just returned from holiday on the Gold Coast in Australia. Although they are having an extremely cold winter, so they said, it was still warm enough to be on the beach every day.

We stayed with our friends Jim, Sarah, Megan, Gareth and baby Ellen who emigrated a few years ago. Unfortunately, Jim was very ill and in hospital for most of our stay. He is suffering from the long term effects of Bilharzia contracted whilst a child in Africa. Thankfully, after some worrying moments, he now seems to be on the mend.

In spite of Jim being in hospital, we still managed to have a good time. It's easy to see why people emigrate to Australia and don't come back. The climate is excellent, the people relaxed and friendly and everything is very familiar. Unlike the Middle East, there is no culture shock for the expat brit.

We went up the Sunshine Coast for a few days to visit Steve Irwin's zoo. There are some great resorts with beautiful beaches and great surf - we particularly liked Noosa.

We had a good day out catching mud crabs in the river, feeding the pelicans, and fishing using yabbies (shrimps) which we pumped from the river bed.

Lucy had a great time at the Circus School at the hotel we stayed at in Coolum.

By Dubai standards the sea was a bit chilly so we all bought wetsuits.

Exodus

2007-07-05T00:45:00.000+03:00

This blog entry comes to you from 30,000ft on an Emirates plane bound for Brisbane. Youngest son Max has finally gone to sleep and Lucy and Ben are playing hangman. Janet is reading a chick-flick. In short, for the time being, everyone is happy.

School has now finished for an eight week period and Dubai's expatriate population has started the mass exodus to escape the summer heat. The shops are noticeably quieter and all hotels are advertising very cheap deals. However, yesterday was the first day of Salik ("the new road toll system for Dubai"). Salik means cameras at both of the busy ends of Sheikh Zayed Road (near the Mall of the Emirates and Garhoud Bridge in case you're interested) which charge you the princely sum of 4Dhs per crossing. The idea, apparently, is to reduce congestion on Dubai's main artery and raise 600 million Dhs every year to invest in further infrastructure improvements. The first aim was achieved. SZR, as it is known locally, was empty. Every other road, however, was gridlocked. We only got to the shops courtesy of some improvised off-road driving in the back streets of Barsha. Of course, it's early days yet, and it's clear that many people haven't the necessary tags for their windscreens yet. I'm hoping things will have improved by the time we get back in three weeks time.

We're going to stay with old friends who live near the Gold Coast in Australia, and we're all very excited about it. I'll try and post some pictures in the coming weeks.

Postscript – we landed at Brisbane Airport at the same time as they were arresting someone suspected of being involved in the Glasgow Airport bomb attack attempting to fly out of the country. Apparently, six local doctors on the Gold Coast are implicated.

Verre-y Nice Indeed

2007-06-24T17:50:00.000+03:00

Last week was pretty good on the food front. I had a couple of colleagues visiting from the UK which meant dining at their expense. We ate at Ushna, a smart Indian restaurant in the Madinat, and Beachcombers, an excellent Thai/Malay buffet, in the Jumeirah Beach Hotel.

Friday was my birthday and as a special treat we had booked to go to Verre - Gordon Ramsay's first restaurant outside the UK - in the Hilton on the Creek. First impressions of the room were that it was perfectly ordinary. No worry, we hadn't come for the interior design, and the restaurant has been Time Out's best restaurant in Dubai for the past 2 years. It was also the only Dubai restaurant in the recently published world top 100 restaurants.

The Maitre d' was a perfectly charming Frenchman and it was hard to resist his invitation to a glass of champagne to start. I had the full 7 course Menu Prestige and every single thing about it was flawless. Service was impeccable and the whole experience was relaxing and enjoyable. To cap things off, thanks to a passing acquaintance with the Head Chef (whose kids are also in Lucy's school), all of the drinks were complimentary. All in all, probably the best meal I have ever eaten, matched only by a couple of meals at Marco Pierre White restaurants in London.

Now, it's back to the treadmill...

Hottest place on earth ...

2007-06-18T20:41:00.000+03:00

... according to our UK neighbours anyway, who saw it on Sky News so it must be true. It certainly felt that way last night at the Hash - a one hour run at night in temperatures in the mid-thirties. It was 45 degrees today and it's not high summer yet.

I still haven't got a hash 'name', but it'll probably be something traffic related. Janet reversed the Durango into a little car that she couldn't see yesterday and squashed it. I then made the mistake of telling a fellow hasher that we have now collectively had 6 car accidents in 11 months. Another hasher has accused me of kerb crawling her, at the top of her drunken voice, when I slowed down to offer her lift so that's a likely candidate as well. At least it would be better than Ker-ching - the harsh hash name of a young south east Asian lady married to a middle age Aussie!

I had another culture shock when one of the local Emirati hashers, Little Mo, brought his two small under-fives, and ran off and left them in the middle of nowhere for an hour! They were still there when I left at ten o'clock. Keeping children up late is very common here though - there'll be kids in the malls even at midnight.

Nightlife in Dubai seems to revolve around (apparently) famous DJs performing in trendy clubs. There is the odd headline big act (Shakira, Roger Waters and Aerosmith being the most recent) but generally not much. Last weekend, however, we went to see 'Whose Line is it Anyway?' at the theatre. I recognised three of the five from the TV show. As they said, the only difference is that there is no 'little fat (expletive deleted) in the corner'. Although it didn't all work, generally it was very funny and we had a good time. My favourite game was when one of them left the room and then had to guess what he did for a living suggested by the audience (UAE censor using lilac highlighter, in a shed, of modern parenting and architectural review magazines). Quite bizarre.

I've also just read that Dubai has bought the QE2. It's going to be refurbished and permanently docked at the Palm Jumeirah. Some people have cynically suggested that this will be the way to introduce a casino in a Muslim country since it will be 'offshore'. I wouldn't be surprised, but I preferred the other suggestion that it is, in fact, a giant lifeboat in case the Palm sinks.

The Times They Are A-Changin

2007-06-07T01:18:00.000+03:00

The newspapers in the UAE are, almost without exception, bland and asinine. The two main broadsheets, the Gulf News and the Khaleej Times contain lots of coverage of local events but essentially nothing by the way of real news. In their defence, it can't be an easy place to be a journalist. There are strict restrictions on what can and can't be stated in public. Any critisicm of the Royal Family, for example, is strictly taboo. The internet is also heavily censored and any number of sites are blocked for "contravening the political, religious, moral, social and economic values of the United Arab Emirates". Much to most expats annoyance, these sites include Skype and any form of cheap internet telephony. The cost of international phone calls here is ruinous.

British newspapers are widely available in Dubai, but always a day after the event and at a prohibitive price. The Sunday Times, for example, is a fiver. I can access the websites but it really isn't the same as sitting down with the printed version. So, I was really pleased to discover that The Times has now launched a locally printed version for a more reasonable pound a day. Unfortunately, it doesn't include the second section but I can manage to live without the TV schedules and reviews of opera in London. More importantly, it has sudoku and the crossword for my more cerebral wife. I was able yesterday to scoff with the rest of the UK at the new 'Marmite' logo for the 2012 Olympics, read the obituaries of minor judges and a review of Gordon Brown's new biographical book by Matthew Parris. Whilst Matthew Parris was dismissive of what he called 'clumsy thinking', all I could wonder was where the Prime Minister in waiting finds time to write books between running the economy, all that New(ish) Labour politicking and his young family? I barely seem to be managing a blog a month.

Mercury rising

2007-05-12T18:16:00.000+03:00

Here's the promised pic of me, Peter Schmeichel and assorted children.

It has been hard to find things to blog about. Not much has happened in my life outside of work, shopping and going to the swimming pool. Today I should have been representing Lucy's school in a beach rugby tournament in Ras Al Khaimah. I'd been to the training sessions, bought some pool shoes to stop the sand burning my feet, but at the last minute it was inexplicably cancelled. Slightly deflated, we went instead to a beach club just over the border into Abu Dhabi called the Jazira Beach Club.

Although it's only May, and entry is much cheaper than the Dubai clubs, there was a strange end of season atmosphere about the place. The grass was unkempt, the fountains had been emptied and the beach cafe was all locked up. Apart from the fact that it was 42 degrees, it felt like I'd gone to a small English seaside town in December. It was almost deserted. A few people came and went, but generally we had the large pool to ourselves. I asked the barman at the pool bar if it was always this quiet. 'No', he said,'it will get busy again in September when the temperature starts to fall'.

September seems a long way off. On Thursday we went to a very beautiful and serene bar and restaurant called Eauzone. It is in a hotel called the One and Only Royal Mirage. Although it is apparently much favoured by footballers and soap stars, we didn't let that put us off. We sat outside and I nearly choked on my beer as I paid for the first drinks (£9 a pint!). Anyway, what the hell - if that's the price of keeping the riff raff out then so be it. After a short while we were forced inside by the heat and hunidity. The weather people here say that it's going to be a scorching summer. I don't think we'll be sat outside again much for the next few months. I'm sure you'll all be sympathetic!

For the purposes of posterity, I've decided to list a few of the things going on in Dubai at the moment.

There was another big construction fire this week - this time on the Palm Jumeriah. Great publicity!

A smoking ban was announced for public places. Great, I thought, until I read that this is the fourth time in as many years that this has been announced and not implemented.

A new interchange near our house finally opened (after well over a year of construction) and has knocked about 30 minutes off my daily drive. However, thanks to extraordinarily inept planning, it's going to have to be rebuilt soon because of all the new apartments opening up in the Marina.

There is a big thing about number plates here, but it's all to do with how low the number is. A man in Abu Dhabi this week paid a world record 25.2 million Dirhams (£3.5 million) for the number 5. He also paid a couple of million quid more for 45 and 55.

Making the most of the weather

2007-04-25T16:13:00.000+03:00

Perhaps it's a British thing, but I can't help feeling the urge to be out doing something and 'making the most of the weather' when the sun is shining. This is understandable in England when a sunny day may well be followed by torrential rain for a fortnight at any time of year, but less so in Dubai where sunshine is now more or less guaranteed for the foreseeable. Anyway, we started off last weekend at the Montgomery Golf Club, with some friends and a hoard of kids, for tea (I mean tea in the northern sense of the word, i.e. the meal at around 5 o'clock). There was a man sitting at the table we really wanted and I realised that the enormous frame belonged to Peter Schmeichel who had obviously just finished playing and was having a drink. Janet was vaguely familiar with the name (because of Chesney's great dane in Corrie) but our friend Jan, who is a big football fan, was practically struck dumb and rushed off home for her camera. I asked him for a picture with the kids but he grabbed hold of me and passed the camera to his friend. I'll post the pic just as soon as Jan figures out where her new camera hides them on her computer.

I'd promised the kids that I'd take them to Wild Wadi at Easter, but we never got round to it. I made good on the promise last weekend. Wild Wadi is a waterpark between Jumeriah Beach Hotel and the Burj Al Arab. It is spectacular and there isn't the usual tiresome walking up steps to reach the slides; high powered water jets propel you up to the top, where there follows a series of roller coaster type rides. We all loved it.

Just booked our holidays. We're off to stay with friends on the Gold Coast in Australia for 3 weeks in July. I'm really looking forward to the promised canoe trip out to see the migrating humpback whales.

What I did on my holidays

2007-04-11T20:08:00.000+03:00

The kids have had to write a diary of what they did on their holiday so I thought I'd have a go as well, although no doubt it won't be as well written or illustrated.

The last month or so has been incredibly busy at work as we seem to be winning more and more business. The amount of things to do has been a bit overwhelming and I had really been looking forward to some friends visiting and taking a week off at Easter.

It didn't start particularly well. The first day saw drizzle and cloud and the second a strong Shamal creating an unpleasant sandstorm. After that, however, the weather was sunny, cloud free and glorious in the low to mid thirties. The temperature is now heading inexorably to the insufferable heat of summer and so it was good to make the most of perfect holiday weather (to give you an idea, as I write now at 9 o'clock in the evening, the temperature outside is a sticky 32 degrees).

Much food and drink was consumed. Dubai has an institution known as Friday Brunch and the best one is at the Mina A'Salaam. From 12.30 to 4.00 our glasses never emptied of Jacob's Creek Rose Fizz. The quantity and range of food on offer was staggering and unlike anything I have ever experienced before.

We had another 'all you can eat buffet' at the Al Hadeerah restaurant at the impressive Bab Al Shams hotel in the desert. This is an Arabic restaurant with the dubious entertainment of an arabic chanteuse, a whirling dervish, belly dancer, camel rides, henna hand painting and the like. The thing that impressed me the most though was the 4,000 torches that lit the approach (apparently it takes 3 men, 3 hours every day to light them all).

There is a real shortage of public beaches in Dubai and our usual haunt at Jebel Ali has now been closed as it will form part of an ambitious project called Dubai Waterfront. The scale of this development, even by Dubai standards, is staggering (bigger than Manhattan or Beirut the website crows). Dubai's beach hotels, of course, don't want freeloaders ruining the experience for their guests so charge handsomely for the privilige of allowing you to use their facilities. We had 2 days at the very good Jebel Ali Hotel - at £4 a pint and a couple of quid for a bottle of water, I wouldn't fancy the bar bill when checking out after 2 weeks.

Our friends, who are well travelled, weren't really quite sure what to make of Dubai. It wasn't like anywhere they'd been before. They were surprised by the scale and at the amount of construction and the associated mess. However, they, like me, were impressed by the vision and ambition. Clearly, all that glitters here is not gold (especially with respect to the way construction workers are treated) but it is showing the rest of the world what can be achieved with imagination, creativity and self-belief.

Sports Day

2007-03-14T20:21:00.000+03:00

The kids had their sports days last week. They started at 8.00 and were finished before it got too hot at 9.30. I've bought a new telephoto lens for my camera and enjoyed taking loads of pictures. This one, of a boy called Ziad in Lucy's class is my favourite. As Janet pointed out, it's a shame I can't take such good photos of my own children. Anyway, both events were really well organised and the kids had a great time.

I finally got my new car today after 7 months in Dubai. It's a black 7 seat Pajero (a brand spanker as well - see previous post) and I'm very pleased with it. Janet pronounced it underpowered, which it is compared to the Durango (190hp to 340hp). And this from someone who spent years in a nasty 1.2 litre Vauxhall Nova.

Janet has finally got a job as a Supply Teacher at the kids school and will be there full time until at least half term. I've already noticed a difference to our finances - not because of what she's earning, but the reduction in how much we're spending on 'coffee, cake' (as Max says everytime he sees a Starbucks!).

A sour taste

2007-03-05T19:24:00.000+03:00

At the weekend we went to a restaurant called Tang at Le Meridien Mina Seyahi. In spite of Chris Eubank and Calum Best staying there, it is a very good hotel. Apparently, Tang is 'a gem for the discerning food lover who is passionate about ultimate sensual dining experiences in style.'

The restaurant has set itself up in the manner of Heston Blumenthal at
The Fat Duck or Ferran Adria at, reportedly the world's best restaurant, El Bulli on the Costa Brava. However, chocolate dusted scallops with bits of froth and cod ice cream didn't do it for Janet who declared it to be 'pretentious c**p'. I found a lot of the food to be excellent but agreed with her about the wine list which was a sheet of red acrylic which couldn't be read without the help of a torch.

The bill came to 700Dhs (£100) per couple. Not too bad since, as I am constantly reminded by my UK colleagues, we are now on a tax free, fat cat, expat 'package'. However, an event earlier in the day put it into perspective that we aren't all living the dream in Dubai.

Four hundred construction workers blocked the traffic on Sheikh Zayed Road - Dubai's busiest and most lethal. They had the temerity to claim that they deserve 27 Dhs per day rather than the 25 Dhs they presently earn. 2Dhs is 28 pence. All in all, the earn about 600 Dhs (£85) per month on average. Most of them will have paid large sums of money to an agent in their home country to get to Dubai in the first place and will then send most of it home to support their families. No wonder there weren't any construction workers in Tang. I can't imagine this was part of the Ruler's Wise Vision.

Carnage on the Al Khail Road

2007-02-27T20:57:00.000+03:00

On Sunday morning Dubai was covered in a thick blanket of fog. Apparently there were 150 traffic accidents. My usual 15 minutes to work on the Al Khail Road took over 2 hours. During that time I saw the wreckage of eight multi-vehicle pile-ups. In spite of the obvious problems there were still people driving way too fast, without lights, tailgating and flashing at cars to move out of the way (big problem here but not illegal). How there were no reported fatalities is beyond me - these were some of the worst crashes I have ever seen.

I arrived at work grateful to still be in one piece and it has finally persuaded me to get a big 4x4 instead of something sporty. I think it's going to be a Mitsubishi Pajero - it's called the Shogun in Europe (apparently because pajero means w****r in Spanish!). The list price for this car is £24k in the UK. Here, and even allowing for the strong pound, it is so much cheaper at just over £12k. I've got no idea how this can be, but demonstrates just how expensive motoring is in the UK compared to the UAE. In spite of going up by over 30% last year, petrol in the Emirates is still about 5x cheaper and there is no road tax. Insurance is fixed at about 5% of the car's value if you have no no-claims and 3.8% if you have. Service is a bit different too - there is always an attendant to fill you up, he cleans your windows and often hands out free boxes of tissues for some reason I haven't yet fathomed. As far as I can tell, there is no such thing as a diesel car here.

Mad dogs and Englishmen

2007-02-24T20:16:00.000+03:00

It's been a while. Just recently I haven't got round to blogging because either nothing exciting has happened, I've been too tired, too drunk, or a combination of all three.

Max had his second birthday this week - many thanks to all who sent cards and presents. He had a great time opening all his presents. He has been a bit under the weather recently, having had a couple of chest infections, but seems to be better now.

Yesterday I got a team of 4 together for the 13th Creek Relay. This was a 35km run around the Dubai Creek. We called ourselves 'Dubai Creaks', a little unfair on Robin and Vicky who are in their twenties, but we did really well and came in fourth in the Open category. It was hot, around 30 degrees, and everyone found it incredibly hard even though it was only about 5 miles each. Afterwards there was beer and a barbeque at the Darjeeling Cricket Club. This was a typically English cricket club other than the huge roller that came out to roll the baked sand outfield and not the wicket (which was artificial). Things were marred slightly by Janet crashing the car into a water tanker on the way home. Thankfully, it was a very slow speed affair, there isn't much damage to the car, and the police were very good and sympathetic. Insurance may prove more problematic - the policy we got via the car dealer is all in arabic. We can't even find a phone number!

We have now been in Dubai for 6 months and I am embarrassed by my lack of arabic skills. You feel it most acutely in the occasional encounters with Emiratis (mostly the police!). If, say, we had moved to France or Spain I would have expected to have become quite proficient in the language and eventually become fluent. That isn't likely here. There is almost no incentive to learn the language. English speaking expats significantly outnumber arabic speakers, who nearly all speak english anyway. Even if I do take lessons there are very few opportunities to practice.

On On to the Hash

2007-02-12T11:14:00.000+03:00

Last night I took part in the Dubai Desert Hash. I'd never heard of this before in the UK but apparently there are over 1700 hash clubs worldwide . Effectively, it is a running club with a drinking problem, or a drinking club with a running problem depending on your point of view.

A trail is laid by a 'hare' and you run around in a pack trying to follow it. There are numerous false trails and dead ends to ensure that the faster runners don't get too far ahead from the slower runners. You have to shout 'On On' if you are on the trail to guide the others. Last nights run, which is a stop/start affair, lasted 55 minutes. Afterwards there were a couple of speeches, punishments (beer down in one, sitting on a big block of ice, icy water poured over head - the usual tame rugby club sort of thing), and then a really good Philipino curry. I really enjoyed it and will probably go again. The only worry is what name they'll come up with for me. Most are completely disgusting and I can't reproduce them here, but others are quite funny (one thin guy is known as 9st cowboy).

Winter's gone

2007-02-07T07:09:00.000+03:00

I reported on 21st November that winter is here. Today the temperature reached 30 degrees again and isn't going any lower than 20 degrees. No more need for the duvet but the aircon will have to come on again soon.

The kids school had their 'summer' fayre last week as soon it will be too hot for such an event. Ben was pretty pleased to win the prize for best hat - and so he should have been, it took us hours to make! Lucy's was pretty good too but she couldn't compete against the replica Burj al Arab hat.

Living the Dream - part 2

2007-02-03T20:17:00.000+03:00

Cirque du soleil was excellent - better than expected - and got the weekend off to a good start. On Friday we went to the Lakes, close to where we live, with some friends for a really good brunch and the added bonus of a licensed bar and England salvaging a bit of pride by beating Australia and preventing a tour whitewash.

I went to the third round of the Dubai Desert Classic Golf tournament today. They didn't like you taking pictures, and I kept being asked where my press photo permit was, but when I came across Tiger Woods I couldn't resist. I only watched him at one hole but he hit a magnificent tee shot 220 yards to within a couple of feet for an easy birdie. The world's best ever golfer? Maybe. Certainly the richest.

Dubai certainly seems to be the favoured destination of sportsmen. Michael Schuhmacher and Roger Federer were also at the golf and Thierry Henry came later for the launch of yet another Gillette shaving product at the Jumeirah Beach Hotel.

Living the Dream

2007-01-31T19:59:00.000+03:00

Last weekend (which, of course, is Friday and Saturday here now) we went to a really good Chinese restaurant called Zheng He's to celebrate a friends 40th birthday. The food was the best chinese I've ever had and the location was spectacular. It wasn't cheap, but not outrageously expensive, although I was a bit upset at being charged 180 Dirhams for a bottle of wine which we can buy in our local booze store for 20 Dirhams. As our friend regularly points out when the bill arrives, 'that's the price of living the dream'. And, all in all, it's a price worth paying. Tomorrow evening the dream continues, at a cost of 800 Dirhams this time, when we're going to see Cirque du Soleil at Ibn Battuta mall. I'll let you know if it was worth it.

This is the view from my office (until next week when we move into a bigger one at the back of the building ovelooking Jumeirah and out to sea). It's called Emirates Towers and is a bit of an improvement on the view of the Manchester Ship Canal from my old office in Warrington. The hotel is very chic and there is a great bar on the 51st floor (in the triangular bit on the right) called Vu's. It's where I took Janet when I wanted to persuade her to come and live here. It did the trick (and she isn't normally easily impressed).

The UAE won the Gulf Cup yesterday beating Oman 1-0 in the final. It's the first time they've ever won it and the locals have all been very excited. This was my favourite pic from the newspaper coverage.

Often, it's easy to forget that you're not living in a western country and culture. Then you read a story like this from the neighbouring Emirate of Ajman.

Ajman: The Federal Supreme Court is looking into the
case of a man who was found guilty of having illicit affairs with his four stepdaughters and sentenced to death by stoning

The four women involved have already had their sentence of 80 lashes each carried out for 'allowing their stepfather to sleep with them' even though they were teenagers at the time, said he threatened them with a knife, and he admitted his guilt at all stages.

January blues?

2007-01-23T19:57:00.000+03:00

Not here! I always think of January as a long and miserable month but it certainly hasn't been this year in Dubai for us.

We've settled back into the usual routine of early starts for school (7.30!) and work. The weather has been a bit mixed, but generally it's warm and pleasant. Nothing compared to the storms battering the UK.

All 18 of the local swimming pools apparently have 'faults' with the heaters and the water is freezing - ironic since they have to chill them in summer. As a result we've been going to the beach most weekends and the parks here are also really good with boating lakes, playgrounds, funfairs and camel rides.

The tallest building in the background is the Burj Dubai, which last week topped 100 floors and is now already the fifth tallest in the world. It will be the tallest by some distance when it's finished. I hope they've given more thought to fire safety than the company constructing the tower in Jumeirah Lake Towers, quite close to our house, that caught fire last week. Four men died and 60 more suffered serious injuries. Rescue efforts were haphazard and the emergency services were also held up by passers by parking up to get out and have a good look. Apparently all of the injured men in hospital were really worried that they weren't going to get paid for being off work as this would affect their families back home (mostly in India). After quite a bit of publicity the company has announced that they'll pay 12 years wages to the deceased families. This will probably amount to around £15k per person. Not a lot for a life.
There was another story in today's paper about a scaffold collapse which killed one man. Construction safety standards here are absolutely lamentable.

Dubai 10K

2007-01-16T21:12:00.000+03:00

Last weekend was the Dubai marathon and 10k. In spite of a lack of training and over indulgence at Christmas, I managed to get round in just under 55 minutes. As this picture shows, I look more like I've just finished the marathon (well, you try running over 6 miles at 7 in the morning!).

One of the best things about living here is definitely the climate. Although it's mid-winter, we've been down to the (nearly deserted) beach for the past couple of weekends and it's great having the 4x4 to be able to drive down to the water's edge.

I still haven't managed to get a car and am back in a hire car after a couple of weeks risking the crazy cab drivers to work and back. I almost bought a Dodge Charger but backed out at the last minute after Janet turned her nose up at it and I had some nagging doubts after the test drive about it being a bit under-powered (after all, it only has 250BHP from a 3.5L engine and I can't afford the 5.7 or 6L versions!). It still remains favourite but I'm also looking at some 4x4s. There are some pretty bad stories about crashes involving small cars, and you do feel very vulnerable in a saloon car when a Nissan Armada (bigger than the Spanish fleet!) cuts you up with the owner on his mobile not noticing you're there.

Happy New Year

2007-01-01T20:44:00.000+03:00

A very happy new year to you all. We're now back from our trip to England and have finally thawed out and caught up with lost sleep. However, I think my liver may take slightly longer to recover after a few days with the very hospitable Paul, Julie, Rox and Alexandra.

The karaoke versions of 'Fairytale of New York', my favourite Christmas song, were fantastic. Even I had a go (anyone who knows me will have an inkling as to the amount of inebriation involved).

The trip back was hard work with the increased security at Manchester and the number of people going off on skiing trips. I hope they weren't going to the Alps since I noticed as we passed over that there was practically no snow at all.

The weather here, in stark contrast to winter in West Lancs, is idyllic - a lovely 23 degrees and we had lunch and played most of the day in the garden (the first time I've done that on January 1st).

Father Christmas delivered an olympic size trampoline for some reason - the kids haven't had a look in.

Eureka!

2006-12-12T05:00:00.000+03:00

The last two pieces of the bureaucratic jigsaw have now fallen into place. The booze licence arrived on Saturday and yesterday I finally got my driving licence. Not without one last pass through the wringer though.

I collected the paper from the Abu Dhabi Medical Board, duly ratified by three doctors, that I'm fit to drive, and went to the driving licence department. 'System crash' he said, 'come back tomorrrow or maybe this evening Inshallah'. I didn't want to go back tomorrow - it is nearly 100 miles away - so went back later after my meeting. They were open again but there was a bit of an undignified scrum to get a ticket (sod the British sense of queuing, you have to push) and then a 2 hour wait. When it was my turn she told me to go and take the eye test again and then get another ticket for another 2 hour wait. It was a bit of a struggle to stay calm. What was the point of taking 3 months to get an eye test when they weren't going to believe what it said anyway? No point arguing, so I went to do the test but told her I wasn't queuing again and would be back directly.

The optometerist was very friendly and I had no problem with the vision test. Then the colour test. 'What number this?'. '12'. No problem, I've memorised these after all. Then, disaster, they've shuffled the pack and I can't see them! That's it, I thought, I'm going to have to hire a Sri Lankan house boy/driver like lots of our neighbours after all (Janet is quite keen on this anyway!). Unlike last time, however, that wasn't the end. She showed me four coloured cards which I easily identified and she signed the form as 'fit to drive'. Once my papers had been taken away and scrutinised twice more by senior officials I was finally given a licence. And that, I promise, is the last word on the subject.

Now that I can buy a car the question is what. Whilst I fancy a Chevy Lumina or Dodge Charger, I've promised Janet that I'll get a 4x4 for safety reasons. Tonight I'm off to look at Ben's favourite, a Hummer.

The booze licence is important, and not just for buying it, since this is a Muslim country. It's OK for tourists to drink but if you're a resident then strictly you need a licence. This was in today's paper:

A couple began their appeal yesterday against a one-month jail sentence for kissing in public in Ramadan. The Australian man and the Filipino woman were kissing in a coffee shop at night when a man asked them to stop. When they refused the man called the police. The couple were also fined dhs1,000 for each for drinking alcohol.

In another recent case a British man was taken to court, not for being drunk but for "drinking beer at a Bur Dubai pub". Quite amazing

Ding Dong Merrily Dubai

2006-12-07T16:57:00.000+03:00

The title is shamelessly plagiarised from The Sun who are praising Dubai for showing how to celebrate Christmas. Really they are just launching a festive jingoistic campaign and don't mention that Dubai is stuffed full of expats doing their Christmas shopping. Someone said to me that Dubai is a Muslim country until there is a business reason not to be (like the Duty Free warehouse, the pork counter at the supermarket ...) and that rings true most of the time.

Anyway, our tree is up and the festive season has kicked off with Lucy in a carol concert at Rainbows. Tonight we're off to do our Christmas shopping at Dragonmart - friends and relatives can expect a few 'Made in China' labels in their stockings.

It has been a terrible week to be an Englishman abroad following the most abject defeat I can ever remember in the Ashes. I was depressed about it, but how much harder for my friend Jim in Australia. Whilst looking for something to cheer himself up on the net he came across this defining what it is to be an Englishman, written by George Santayana, a Spaniard, whilst in England in 1922.

Instinctively the Englishman is no missionary, no conqueror. He prefers the country to the town, and home to foreign parts. He is rather glad and relieved if only natives will remain natives and strangers strangers, and at a comfortable distance from himself. Yet outwardly he is most hospitable and accepts almost anybody for the time being; he travels and conquers without a settled design, because he has the instinct of exploration. His adventures are all external; they change him so little that he is not afraid of them. He carries his English weather in his heart wherever he goes, and it becomes a cool spot in the desert, and a steady and sane oracle amongst all the deliriums of mankind. Never since the heroic days of Greece has the world had such a sweet, just, boyish master. It will be a black day for the human race when scientific blackguards, conspirators, churls, and fanatics manage to supplant him.

Jim goes on to say, in his own words, "An Englishman in exile has roots in the old country which are deep and true and in these difficult times it is important to return to them for sustenance; oh, and don't forget to pull your hat down over your ears and wear sunglasses, go out after dark only and take the phone off the hook till it all blows over, sometime in 2009 the mocking laughter will die away I think..." Amen to that.

Rugby Sevens

2006-12-01T21:34:00.000+03:00

One of the highlights of the expat calendar is the Dubai Rugby Sevens. For most of the year it's just a large area of desert which is home to the Exiles Rugby Club and the Country Club where Janet goes to a toddlers group with Max. Then, a couple of months before, it's transformed into the world's largest temporary stadium holding 30,000 people.

It is extremely well organised. The difference between similar events I've been to in England is marked - the toilets are immaculate and the food and drink is good and varied (not a burger van in sight). There's plenty to do for the kids, which is just as well as they're not interested in the rugby.

Highlight of the day for me was when Australia were beaten by Portugal (the rugby equivalent of Accrington Stanley) followed by the commentator telling us what a good day England had had at the second Ashes test match.

One of the good things about having visitors is that you get to do things that you would otherwise consider too 'touristy'. Last week I took Janet's parents on a desert safari to a place known as 'Big red' 45 minutes out of Dubai towards Oman.

I didn't have high expectations but our Indian driver, Nadeem, took us on an amazing rollercoaster ride over big clean sand dunes. Most of the things he did beggared belief and completely contradicted all the advice given in my 'UAE off-road explorer' guide book. I can still hear my Mother-in-Law anxiously saying 'please slow down so that we can admire the view' whilst I was grinning from ear to ear.

The rest of the safari was a bit hackneyed - sheesha, local dress, henna painting and belly dancer - but at least the food was good.

Winter is here

2006-11-21T08:02:00.000+03:00

Janet's parents have not quite brought the weather with them but is has been much, much cooler this week. Yesterday it actually rained. A whopping 0.2mm was recorded at the airport and resulted in absolute chaos on the roads. Janet was upset because it spoilt her plans to go to the pool.

I must be fairly well acclimatised now. I thought it was a bit chilly when I got in the car this morning but the radio presenter said it was 'currently 25.5 degrees in Dubai'. Brrrrrr - we're freezing!

Happy Birthday Lulu!

2006-11-15T07:47:00.000+03:00

My beautiful little girl is now 6. She was very excited opening her presents yesterday but unfortunately wasn't very well, spent a lot of the day being sick, and wasn't able to go to school. However, by the time I got back she was feeling much better and riding her new bike down the street.

Update on the driving licence saga

I know Dean is desperate to know more about the driving licence, but anybody else who is sick of hearing about this should stop reading now and go off and do something more useful with their life.

A couple of weeks ago I finally had enough of calling the hospital to see when my appointment for the eye test was going to be (usually transferred 3 times ending in a dead line). I drove over to Mafraq and wandered all over the hospital until I found the right person. It didn't look like I existed in the system, but they eventually gave me an appointment for yesterday (14th November).

The test itself was a bit of a farce. 'All you need for driving is red and green' he said. He held up a red, green and yellow plate and I correctly identified them (my colour blindness isn't that bad). Why the optician at the driving centre failed me is now completely beyond me. Then we went through the Ishihara plate test. Although I have memorised these numbers he helpfully opened it at the answer page and went off for a few minutes whilst I refreshed my memory. Surprise, surprise I got them all right except the ones where you have to follow a line. Then, more waiting whilst I saw the doctor who signs you off. She had real problems with the part of the form which said 'strength of limbs and upper body for driving'. I offered to do a few press-ups. No, she would call someone at the ministry of health. After another hour of waiting, I managed to get hold of a nurse who just said 'you can go now'. I wasn't having this and spoke to the doctor. She showed me the letter they're sending to the ministry and it says my eyesight and colour vision is normal. However, they wouldn't give it to me and wouldn't let me have a copy. I now have to wait 2 weeks whilst 3 doctors at the ministry ratify that I am fit to drive. So, two more weeks of illegal driving until I find out what the next hurdle is. Still, it could be worse. I could be a woman in Saudi Arabia

Things that go bump in the evening

2006-11-09T07:05:00.000+03:00

Yesterday I had to be in Abu Dhabi early for a site visit. It meant leaving at 6.30 and it was incredibly foggy. The drive was a bit hairy - drivers either have their hazards on or no lights at all (no-one used a fog light) and don't worry about slowing down. When we arrived the client wasn't there - 'we didn't think you'd come in this fog'. He arrived in a convoy of 5 Land Cruisers an hour and a half later.

We drove for a short while and then suddenly stopped to let the air out of the tyres ('one minute per tyre'). Next thing I know, we're bumping over the sand dunes trying to find a gas pipeline. It was quite exciting at first. As the client said, 'you pay 200 Dhs for this in Dubai and today we are paying you'. After 5 hours driving in the desert on a baking hot day, however, I'd seen enough gas pipeline to last me a lifetime.

On the way back, I dropped off my colleague at his villa at Arabian Ranches. The roundabout there is notorious and there seems to be a continuous police presence. I was queuing to get on the roundabout for ages. The guy behind me finally lost patience, thought I was moving when I wasn't, and thumped into the back of me.

His car was a complete mess, number plate off, bumper and bonnet all smashed up. Expecting the worst, I looked at the Jeep. Not a mark. The tyre mounted on the back had taken the entire impact and I've picked up a good Dubai car buying tip.

It was fortunate that the police were there and had seen it since you can wait ages for them to arrive. It was clearly the other guys fault so I wasn't worried about that but then he inevitably asked for my driving licence which, of course, I don't have. 'Is big trouble for you' he said. I pleaded ignorance and then, thankfully, there was another crash on the other side. He handed me the green form of no blame, gave the other guy the dreaded pink copy and drove off shouting 'go Barsha morning - get temporary licence'. Phew.

Things that go bump in the morning

2006-11-07T07:33:00.000+03:00

Max is 20 months old and thinks that he is too big for his high chair. Unfortunately, he isn’t big enough to sit on the kitchen chairs and promptly fell off head first onto the tiled floor. The thud was sickening. Shortly afterwards he vomited so we rushed off to the local medical centre. Thankfully, the x-ray revealed that his skull, like his father’s, appears to be made from reinforced concrete.

Later that day we went to a place called Childrens City. Although it was practically empty, it was very good for small children and, unusually for Dubai, very cheap.

Halloween isn’t a big deal here but the kids dressed up and enjoyed themselves.

We went round to some friends for a BBQ on bonfire night. You can’t buy fireworks but I had managed to get some sparklers and we could see the display at the Ritz-Carlton in Dubai Marina from the balcony. It was very strange going to a bonfire party in shorts and t-shirt!

Fun in the fountains at the Marina.

Chuck another prawn on the barbie

2006-10-30T21:18:00.000+03:00

Kids are now back at school and I'm back at work. We had a really good holiday last week, the highlight being the trip to the water park, but I also enjoyed our trip to the Hajar mountains at Hatta. This was my first experience of off-road driving and the Dodge was great. Lucy, Max and I also had our first camel ride.

At the risk of sounding like I'm gloating, the weather has now cooled down enough so that we can eat in the garden every night. This will continue for the next 7 or 8 months until it starts to get a bit too hot again. We had a couple of barbeques last week and the kids are enjoying being able to get out into the garden more.

Blood money

2006-10-24T07:35:00.000+03:00

In Islamic Law, if you kill someone then their family is entitled to blood money, or diya. The most likely way here is to knock down a pedestrian - 23 already this year on the road outside my office and 23 last year. The payment is 200,000 Dirhams, around £30,000. This is normally covered by insurance unless you have been drinking, and there is zero tolerance. There are Europeans still in jail here because they can't raise the money.

Disconcertingly, there are reports that desperate people here are committing suicide on the roads simply to send the money back to their family. I wince ever ytime I see someone about to run across the motorway in front of me (an extremely common occurrence).

Anyway, a new law is to be introduced in an attempt to stop this. I just hope they manage to tell the people who might be affected. It's unlikely that they read the local papers.

Eid Mubarak

2006-10-24T06:58:00.000+03:00

Happy Eid. The month of Ramadan has finished and the 3 day festival of Eid Al Fitr (Christmas is the nearest comparison I can think of) began on Monday. The actual date depends on when the moon is sighted by the 'Moon Spotting Committee' and this year has resulted in a 4 day holiday for public workers thanks to the seasonal generosity of Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum. Plenty of people don't get any time off though and the water for the water cooler was delivered by Nestle as usual this morning.

Yesterday we celebrated by going to Dreamland in the northern Emirate of Umm Al Quwain. We went with Scott and Val who have 3 kids of similar age (Mhairi is in Lucy's class and they are inseparable - I barely saw them all day).

Dreamland is great. It must have been their busiest day of the year but there were still sun loungers to be had and the queues for food weren't too bad. It's not as chic as Wild Wadi, the water park at the Burj-al-Arab, but it was a fraction of the price and very friendly.

Afterwards, we went to the adjacent Barracuda hotel for an excellent Eid buffet. The hotel has a duty free booze warehouse (no liquor licence required) attached and it was absolutely heaving. There were lots of dishdashs and Indians stocking up on their duty free Johnny Walker at a fiver a bottle.

We returned to Dubai, weary but happy, at 10pm with kids content and hard fast asleep. I'm sure this would have been a far cry from most people's pre-conceived ideas of the Middle East - it could have been a day out at any good waterpark on the Med.

In other news, it looks like Janet has landed a part time job teaching at the kid's school. It couldn't be more convenient. I've had heat exhaustion (for the second time since arriving!) due to an excess of gardening, barbeque building and a couple of glasses of Merlot ('you must wear your hat when you go outside you pale skinned pansy!'). Oh, and I've entered the Dubai Marathon. OK, only the 10k part of it, but it's a start.

All that glitters ...

2006-10-17T12:04:00.000+03:00

There are some amazing developments in Dubai, each one trying to outdo the next, as the Emirate tries to replace oil revenues with other sources of income. These mega-projects include the world's largest shopping mall, world's tallest building, world's first underwater hotel, world's largest hotel, world's largest theme park - you get the idea. The link on the right has some excellent pictures of Dubai and these projects.

Dubai is the fastest growing city in the world after Shanghai and is presently home to an amazing 24% of the world's construction cranes. With this comes an army of contractors and labourers, most of whom are bused in every day from labour camps and Sharjah. I came across a good article yesterday which highlights the desperate plight of many of these people, although I'm not sure I like being described as a 'pampered mercenary'. The poverty divide is certainly striking - from expats on fat-cat packages to labourers (on the Palm for example) earning less than £100 per month.

I've said enough about driving here already (still no licence in case you were curious), but I did enjoy this picture I came across the other day.

On the domestic front there have been yet more trips to IKEA, but to compensate we did have a good afternoon on a lovely quiet beach at the Marina. The water is still like a warm bath and a good breeze made for a pleasant time.

We had a good shopping trip without the kids to Dubai's bargain basement souk in Karama. Janet picked up a 'Mulberry' and 'Tods' handbag and I got a 'Mont Blanc' watch (which stopped soon after). The good stuff tended to be hidden away in little attics above the shops which we were ushered in to. It's all completely counterfeit of course but some of it was very good quality and you'd be hard pushed to tell it wasn't the real deal. This was followed by sushi in the very smart Emirates Towers where we were the scruffiest people by some distance. Tomorrow night we're going to the Ritz for their Iftaar buffet. It's a hard life ...

8 weeks in

2006-10-08T12:31:00.000+03:00

We've now been here for 8 weeks. Long enough to get an idea of what life's going to be like, but not long enough to really know the place yet.

The weather is cooling off, but very slowly. It still never gets any lower than about 26 degrees even in the dead of night. People keep saying 'hang in there. It'll be lovely in a few weeks time'. Other than Lucy, none of us has more than the slightest hint of a tan since we haven't been able to get out much.

Dubai is a modern city but many of the attitudes remind me of how things were in my childhood. There is little concern for the environment here, hardly any recycling and the amount of water used in a desert country is scandalous. Very few people use child seats or seatbelts. Although this was the norm when I was a child, I now find it shocking that any parent could treat their children's safety so casually. Nobody here can pretend they haven't seen the effects of car crashes and the newspapers are full of stories and graphic images. Just this week there was a huge crash in the next street to our villa (a pretty quiet area). Two 4x4s and a big pickup all smashed up and probably write-offs. I've gone on enough about driving here, but it is a big issue - just check out the local paper in the links.

Lucy went to a classmate's birthday party at Ski Dubai (the world's largest indoor ski centre) at the weekend. When we arrived they also invited Ben to stay for the party. They both had a great time playing in the snow, then there was a magician and food. I think we've got quite a bit to live up to when it's Lucy's birthday in a months time.

Had my last offshore trip for a while yesterday. A sombre mood on the rig as an Indian man had been killed the night before doing some routine maintenance work. Details were sketchy, but he'd been struck on the head by a large lump of metal and killed instantly. Nowhere is the need for safety felt more acutely - this is a dangerous place to work. Needless to say, my meetings were cancelled and I was fortunate to get back on the chopper as some people were held back for the investigation and police interviews.

Ramadan kareem

2006-10-03T20:40:00.000+03:00

Or have a blessed Ramadan (I think). Ramadan, as you may (or most probably not) be aware in the UK, is now well underway. The most noticeable effect is that you can't eat, drink, smoke or have sex during daylight hours. I can't say I've noticed any real difference apart from the coffee.

Working hours are shorter for Muslims, although there are still plenty of people working long hours in the baking heat without water. Schools also work shorter hours so the kids get a bit of a lie-in. The fast is broken with a meal (Iftar) and all the restaurants jump on the bandwagon with an 'Iftar Buffet'. We went to one at the swanky Shangri La hotel (but made sure that booze was included!).

In a typical case of cart before horse, after umpteen helicopter rides, I finally completed my helicopter and sea survival training this week. The worst part is definitely when they strap you into a tin can, sink it and then turn it through 180 degrees. To make it worse, as water pours into your nose and you haven't got a clue where you are, you have to count to 10 before you are allowed to escape (otherwise you might congratulate yourself on escaping and lose your head on the still spinning rotor blades). In real life things are complicated by having to push the windows out, get past 12 big roughnecks and not breathe in aviation fuel or drown. Mind you, it's still much, much safer than driving here.

Janet (who has got a driving licence) finally got her new car yesterday, the Dodge Durango 5.7 litre 'Magnum', which gets a very creditable 12mpg. It's good to join the rest of the UAE in doing our bit to hasten global warming. You'll thank us next summer.

Finally, I called my mother yesterday to wish her a happy birthday (only a week late). "I've been reading your web pages" she said. Echoing Janet's sentiments, she went on "it's very boring. Are you writing your life story?" And they say that children say the cruellest things...

Beware of Driving Surprises

2006-09-27T15:00:00.000+03:00

This is what it says on road signs on the way to Abu Dhabi. At first it seemed meaningless but lots of things don't translate well from Arabic and I've now got a pretty good idea what they're getting at. Expect the unexpected and drive in a state of complete paranoia. Never assume that a fellow driver will do the rational thing.

The standard of driving here is abysmal. Actually, that's not true. It's not that good. I can't recall a single uneventful journey where I haven't marvelled at some act of stupidity. For example, the standard response to fog and sandstorms, which occur quite frequently at this time of year, seems to be to put on the hazard warning lights and speed up. A Toyota Landcruiser or similarly large 4x4 approaching from behind, lights flashing, at 160 km/h or more is unnerving. Today, on my regular 200 mile trip to Abu Dhabi I saw 3 crashes, a stationary car pointing the wrong way on the edge of the fast lane and someone in a Lexus drove drove through the tiny gap between me and the guy in the next lane at about 200 km/h (I had to swerve into the next lane).

The police behaviour is also strange. I regularly overtake them at 160km/h on the way to Abu Dhabi, as does everyone else, and this seems to be fine. They don't pull you over for anything as far as I can see but just write down your number. I received a 100 Dhs fine on our first day here for 'not staying in lane when compulsory'. I've no idea what this was. You only discover the tickets when you renew the registration or check the website (try it yourself at the Dubai Police website, registration number F 56259).

Anyway, I'm still in one piece and, in a perverse way, actually generally enjoying driving here. Once you get used to it, and accept that you may die at any minute, it can be quite exhilarating.

I spotted an advert yesterday from a university offering various courses in Arabic, Islamic Studies etc., but I was particularly taken with 'Training in English for ill-literates'.

Lucy stood underneath the enormous guitars at the (very average) Hard Rock Cafe

View from the back of our villa. It's not far to the desert!

System change

2006-09-25T18:33:00.000+03:00

I'll try and keep today's update brief (if only to avoid editorial input from my wife who doesn't like my long winded wittering).

I drove over to the Driving Licence centre this morning - no mean feat of navigation I can tell you - confident that I now had all the appropriate pieces of paper and ticks in boxes. I was even wondering about the logistics of collecting the new car. Such optimism, as you will no doubt have guessed, was sadly misguided. I handed in my forms at Reception. 'Go see Manager' he said. Never a good sign.

The Manager was amiable enough but explained that it's only possible for them to issue a Dubai driving licence to a Dubai resident on an Abu Dhabi visa if their visa says Manager. Mine has the lowly designation of Engineer. If I'd come a month ago, he helpfully informed me, it 'would have been no problem, but system change'. And that was that. He was very sorry, but he couldn't help. 'Go Abu Dhabi' he said, 'get licence there. No problem'. If only he knew ...

When I got back I spoke to our Agent in Abu Dhabi. 'There may be a way' he said. 'I know a man in the Dubai Traffic Department. Maybe you need to give him present'. What kind of present I wondered, a bottle of whiskey perhaps? 'Perhaps 4,000 dirhams' he said (nearly £600!) 'or you wait 6 weeks maybe for Government eye test...'