The last two pieces of the bureaucratic jigsaw have now fallen into place. The booze licence arrived on Saturday and yesterday I finally got my driving licence. Not without one last pass through the wringer though.
I collected the paper from the Abu Dhabi Medical Board, duly ratified by three doctors, that I'm fit to drive, and went to the driving licence department. 'System crash' he said, 'come back tomorrrow or maybe this evening Inshallah'. I didn't want to go back tomorrow - it is nearly 100 miles away - so went back later after my meeting. They were open again but there was a bit of an undignified scrum to get a ticket (sod the British sense of queuing, you have to push) and then a 2 hour wait. When it was my turn she told me to go and take the eye test again and then get another ticket for another 2 hour wait. It was a bit of a struggle to stay calm. What was the point of taking 3 months to get an eye test when they weren't going to believe what it said anyway? No point arguing, so I went to do the test but told her I wasn't queuing again and would be back directly.
The optometerist was very friendly and I had no problem with the vision test. Then the colour test. 'What number this?'. '12'. No problem, I've memorised these after all. Then, disaster, they've shuffled the pack and I can't see them! That's it, I thought, I'm going to have to hire a Sri Lankan house boy/driver like lots of our neighbours after all (Janet is quite keen on this anyway!). Unlike last time, however, that wasn't the end. She showed me four coloured cards which I easily identified and she signed the form as 'fit to drive'. Once my papers had been taken away and scrutinised twice more by senior officials I was finally given a licence. And that, I promise, is the last word on the subject.
Now that I can buy a car the question is what. Whilst I fancy a Chevy Lumina or Dodge Charger, I've promised Janet that I'll get a 4x4 for safety reasons. Tonight I'm off to look at Ben's favourite, a Hummer.
The booze licence is important, and not just for buying it, since this is a Muslim country. It's OK for tourists to drink but if you're a resident then strictly you need a licence. This was in today's paper:
A couple began their appeal yesterday against a one-month jail sentence for kissing in public in Ramadan. The Australian man and the Filipino woman were kissing in a coffee shop at night when a man asked them to stop. When they refused the man called the police. The couple were also fined dhs1,000 for each for drinking alcohol.
In another recent case a British man was taken to court, not for being drunk but for "drinking beer at a Bur Dubai pub". Quite amazing
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Ding Dong Merrily Dubai
The title is shamelessly plagiarised from The Sun who are praising Dubai for showing how to celebrate Christmas. Really they are just launching a festive jingoistic campaign and don't mention that Dubai is stuffed full of expats doing their Christmas shopping. Someone said to me that Dubai is a Muslim country until there is a business reason not to be (like the Duty Free warehouse, the pork counter at the supermarket ...) and that rings true most of the time.
Anyway, our tree is up and the festive season has kicked off with Lucy in a carol concert at Rainbows. Tonight we're off to do our Christmas shopping at Dragonmart - friends and relatives can expect a few 'Made in China' labels in their stockings.
It has been a terrible week to be an Englishman abroad following the most abject defeat I can ever remember in the Ashes. I was depressed about it, but how much harder for my friend Jim in Australia. Whilst looking for something to cheer himself up on the net he came across this defining what it is to be an Englishman, written by George Santayana, a Spaniard, whilst in England in 1922.
Instinctively the Englishman is no missionary, no conqueror. He prefers the country to the town, and home to foreign parts. He is rather glad and relieved if only natives will remain natives and strangers strangers, and at a comfortable distance from himself. Yet outwardly he is most hospitable and accepts almost anybody for the time being; he travels and conquers without a settled design, because he has the instinct of exploration. His adventures are all external; they change him so little that he is not afraid of them. He carries his English weather in his heart wherever he goes, and it becomes a cool spot in the desert, and a steady and sane oracle amongst all the deliriums of mankind. Never since the heroic days of Greece has the world had such a sweet, just, boyish master. It will be a black day for the human race when scientific blackguards, conspirators, churls, and fanatics manage to supplant him.
Jim goes on to say, in his own words, "An Englishman in exile has roots in the old country which are deep and true and in these difficult times it is important to return to them for sustenance; oh, and don't forget to pull your hat down over your ears and wear sunglasses, go out after dark only and take the phone off the hook till it all blows over, sometime in 2009 the mocking laughter will die away I think..." Amen to that.
Anyway, our tree is up and the festive season has kicked off with Lucy in a carol concert at Rainbows. Tonight we're off to do our Christmas shopping at Dragonmart - friends and relatives can expect a few 'Made in China' labels in their stockings.
It has been a terrible week to be an Englishman abroad following the most abject defeat I can ever remember in the Ashes. I was depressed about it, but how much harder for my friend Jim in Australia. Whilst looking for something to cheer himself up on the net he came across this defining what it is to be an Englishman, written by George Santayana, a Spaniard, whilst in England in 1922.
Instinctively the Englishman is no missionary, no conqueror. He prefers the country to the town, and home to foreign parts. He is rather glad and relieved if only natives will remain natives and strangers strangers, and at a comfortable distance from himself. Yet outwardly he is most hospitable and accepts almost anybody for the time being; he travels and conquers without a settled design, because he has the instinct of exploration. His adventures are all external; they change him so little that he is not afraid of them. He carries his English weather in his heart wherever he goes, and it becomes a cool spot in the desert, and a steady and sane oracle amongst all the deliriums of mankind. Never since the heroic days of Greece has the world had such a sweet, just, boyish master. It will be a black day for the human race when scientific blackguards, conspirators, churls, and fanatics manage to supplant him.
Jim goes on to say, in his own words, "An Englishman in exile has roots in the old country which are deep and true and in these difficult times it is important to return to them for sustenance; oh, and don't forget to pull your hat down over your ears and wear sunglasses, go out after dark only and take the phone off the hook till it all blows over, sometime in 2009 the mocking laughter will die away I think..." Amen to that.
Friday, December 01, 2006
Rugby Sevens
One of the highlights of the expat calendar is the Dubai Rugby Sevens. For most of the year it's just a large area of desert which is home to the Exiles Rugby Club and the Country Club where Janet goes to a toddlers group with Max. Then, a couple of months before, it's transformed into the world's largest temporary stadium holding 30,000 people.
It is extremely well organised. The difference between similar events I've been to in England is marked - the toilets are immaculate and the food and drink is good and varied (not a burger van in sight). There's plenty to do for the kids, which is just as well as they're not interested in the rugby.
Highlight of the day for me was when Australia were beaten by Portugal (the rugby equivalent of Accrington Stanley) followed by the commentator telling us what a good day England had had at the second Ashes test match.
One of the good things about having visitors is that you get to do things that you would otherwise consider too 'touristy'. Last week I took Janet's parents on a desert safari to a place known as 'Big red' 45 minutes out of Dubai towards Oman.
I didn't have high expectations but our Indian driver, Nadeem, took us on an amazing rollercoaster ride over big clean sand dunes. Most of the things he did beggared belief and completely contradicted all the advice given in my 'UAE off-road explorer' guide book. I can still hear my Mother-in-Law anxiously saying 'please slow down so that we can admire the view' whilst I was grinning from ear to ear.
The rest of the safari was a bit hackneyed - sheesha, local dress, henna painting and belly dancer - but at least the food was good.
It is extremely well organised. The difference between similar events I've been to in England is marked - the toilets are immaculate and the food and drink is good and varied (not a burger van in sight). There's plenty to do for the kids, which is just as well as they're not interested in the rugby.
Highlight of the day for me was when Australia were beaten by Portugal (the rugby equivalent of Accrington Stanley) followed by the commentator telling us what a good day England had had at the second Ashes test match.
One of the good things about having visitors is that you get to do things that you would otherwise consider too 'touristy'. Last week I took Janet's parents on a desert safari to a place known as 'Big red' 45 minutes out of Dubai towards Oman.
I didn't have high expectations but our Indian driver, Nadeem, took us on an amazing rollercoaster ride over big clean sand dunes. Most of the things he did beggared belief and completely contradicted all the advice given in my 'UAE off-road explorer' guide book. I can still hear my Mother-in-Law anxiously saying 'please slow down so that we can admire the view' whilst I was grinning from ear to ear.
The rest of the safari was a bit hackneyed - sheesha, local dress, henna painting and belly dancer - but at least the food was good.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Winter is here
Janet's parents have not quite brought the weather with them but is has been much, much cooler this week. Yesterday it actually rained. A whopping 0.2mm was recorded at the airport and resulted in absolute chaos on the roads. Janet was upset because it spoilt her plans to go to the pool.
I must be fairly well acclimatised now. I thought it was a bit chilly when I got in the car this morning but the radio presenter said it was 'currently 25.5 degrees in Dubai'. Brrrrrr - we're freezing!
I must be fairly well acclimatised now. I thought it was a bit chilly when I got in the car this morning but the radio presenter said it was 'currently 25.5 degrees in Dubai'. Brrrrrr - we're freezing!
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Happy Birthday Lulu!
My beautiful little girl is now 6. She was very excited opening her presents yesterday but unfortunately wasn't very well, spent a lot of the day being sick, and wasn't able to go to school. However, by the time I got back she was feeling much better and riding her new bike down the street.
Update on the driving licence saga
I know Dean is desperate to know more about the driving licence, but anybody else who is sick of hearing about this should stop reading now and go off and do something more useful with their life.
A couple of weeks ago I finally had enough of calling the hospital to see when my appointment for the eye test was going to be (usually transferred 3 times ending in a dead line). I drove over to Mafraq and wandered all over the hospital until I found the right person. It didn't look like I existed in the system, but they eventually gave me an appointment for yesterday (14th November).
The test itself was a bit of a farce. 'All you need for driving is red and green' he said. He held up a red, green and yellow plate and I correctly identified them (my colour blindness isn't that bad). Why the optician at the driving centre failed me is now completely beyond me. Then we went through the Ishihara plate test. Although I have memorised these numbers he helpfully opened it at the answer page and went off for a few minutes whilst I refreshed my memory. Surprise, surprise I got them all right except the ones where you have to follow a line. Then, more waiting whilst I saw the doctor who signs you off. She had real problems with the part of the form which said 'strength of limbs and upper body for driving'. I offered to do a few press-ups. No, she would call someone at the ministry of health. After another hour of waiting, I managed to get hold of a nurse who just said 'you can go now'. I wasn't having this and spoke to the doctor. She showed me the letter they're sending to the ministry and it says my eyesight and colour vision is normal. However, they wouldn't give it to me and wouldn't let me have a copy. I now have to wait 2 weeks whilst 3 doctors at the ministry ratify that I am fit to drive. So, two more weeks of illegal driving until I find out what the next hurdle is. Still, it could be worse. I could be a woman in Saudi Arabia
Update on the driving licence saga
I know Dean is desperate to know more about the driving licence, but anybody else who is sick of hearing about this should stop reading now and go off and do something more useful with their life.
A couple of weeks ago I finally had enough of calling the hospital to see when my appointment for the eye test was going to be (usually transferred 3 times ending in a dead line). I drove over to Mafraq and wandered all over the hospital until I found the right person. It didn't look like I existed in the system, but they eventually gave me an appointment for yesterday (14th November).
The test itself was a bit of a farce. 'All you need for driving is red and green' he said. He held up a red, green and yellow plate and I correctly identified them (my colour blindness isn't that bad). Why the optician at the driving centre failed me is now completely beyond me. Then we went through the Ishihara plate test. Although I have memorised these numbers he helpfully opened it at the answer page and went off for a few minutes whilst I refreshed my memory. Surprise, surprise I got them all right except the ones where you have to follow a line. Then, more waiting whilst I saw the doctor who signs you off. She had real problems with the part of the form which said 'strength of limbs and upper body for driving'. I offered to do a few press-ups. No, she would call someone at the ministry of health. After another hour of waiting, I managed to get hold of a nurse who just said 'you can go now'. I wasn't having this and spoke to the doctor. She showed me the letter they're sending to the ministry and it says my eyesight and colour vision is normal. However, they wouldn't give it to me and wouldn't let me have a copy. I now have to wait 2 weeks whilst 3 doctors at the ministry ratify that I am fit to drive. So, two more weeks of illegal driving until I find out what the next hurdle is. Still, it could be worse. I could be a woman in Saudi Arabia
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Things that go bump in the evening
Yesterday I had to be in Abu Dhabi early for a site visit. It meant leaving at 6.30 and it was incredibly foggy. The drive was a bit hairy - drivers either have their hazards on or no lights at all (no-one used a fog light) and don't worry about slowing down. When we arrived the client wasn't there - 'we didn't think you'd come in this fog'. He arrived in a convoy of 5 Land Cruisers an hour and a half later.
We drove for a short while and then suddenly stopped to let the air out of the tyres ('one minute per tyre'). Next thing I know, we're bumping over the sand dunes trying to find a gas pipeline. It was quite exciting at first. As the client said, 'you pay 200 Dhs for this in Dubai and today we are paying you'. After 5 hours driving in the desert on a baking hot day, however, I'd seen enough gas pipeline to last me a lifetime.
On the way back, I dropped off my colleague at his villa at Arabian Ranches. The roundabout there is notorious and there seems to be a continuous police presence. I was queuing to get on the roundabout for ages. The guy behind me finally lost patience, thought I was moving when I wasn't, and thumped into the back of me.
His car was a complete mess, number plate off, bumper and bonnet all smashed up. Expecting the worst, I looked at the Jeep. Not a mark. The tyre mounted on the back had taken the entire impact and I've picked up a good Dubai car buying tip.
It was fortunate that the police were there and had seen it since you can wait ages for them to arrive. It was clearly the other guys fault so I wasn't worried about that but then he inevitably asked for my driving licence which, of course, I don't have. 'Is big trouble for you' he said. I pleaded ignorance and then, thankfully, there was another crash on the other side. He handed me the green form of no blame, gave the other guy the dreaded pink copy and drove off shouting 'go Barsha morning - get temporary licence'. Phew.
We drove for a short while and then suddenly stopped to let the air out of the tyres ('one minute per tyre'). Next thing I know, we're bumping over the sand dunes trying to find a gas pipeline. It was quite exciting at first. As the client said, 'you pay 200 Dhs for this in Dubai and today we are paying you'. After 5 hours driving in the desert on a baking hot day, however, I'd seen enough gas pipeline to last me a lifetime.
On the way back, I dropped off my colleague at his villa at Arabian Ranches. The roundabout there is notorious and there seems to be a continuous police presence. I was queuing to get on the roundabout for ages. The guy behind me finally lost patience, thought I was moving when I wasn't, and thumped into the back of me.
His car was a complete mess, number plate off, bumper and bonnet all smashed up. Expecting the worst, I looked at the Jeep. Not a mark. The tyre mounted on the back had taken the entire impact and I've picked up a good Dubai car buying tip.
It was fortunate that the police were there and had seen it since you can wait ages for them to arrive. It was clearly the other guys fault so I wasn't worried about that but then he inevitably asked for my driving licence which, of course, I don't have. 'Is big trouble for you' he said. I pleaded ignorance and then, thankfully, there was another crash on the other side. He handed me the green form of no blame, gave the other guy the dreaded pink copy and drove off shouting 'go Barsha morning - get temporary licence'. Phew.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Things that go bump in the morning
Max is 20 months old and thinks that he is too big for his high chair. Unfortunately, he isn’t big enough to sit on the kitchen chairs and promptly fell off head first onto the tiled floor. The thud was sickening. Shortly afterwards he vomited so we rushed off to the local medical centre. Thankfully, the x-ray revealed that his skull, like his father’s, appears to be made from reinforced concrete.
Later that day we went to a place called Childrens City. Although it was practically empty, it was very good for small children and, unusually for Dubai, very cheap.
Halloween isn’t a big deal here but the kids dressed up and enjoyed themselves.
We went round to some friends for a BBQ on bonfire night. You can’t buy fireworks but I had managed to get some sparklers and we could see the display at the Ritz-Carlton in Dubai Marina from the balcony. It was very strange going to a bonfire party in shorts and t-shirt!
Fun in the fountains at the Marina.
Later that day we went to a place called Childrens City. Although it was practically empty, it was very good for small children and, unusually for Dubai, very cheap.
Halloween isn’t a big deal here but the kids dressed up and enjoyed themselves.
We went round to some friends for a BBQ on bonfire night. You can’t buy fireworks but I had managed to get some sparklers and we could see the display at the Ritz-Carlton in Dubai Marina from the balcony. It was very strange going to a bonfire party in shorts and t-shirt!
Fun in the fountains at the Marina.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Chuck another prawn on the barbie
Kids are now back at school and I'm back at work. We had a really good holiday last week, the highlight being the trip to the water park, but I also enjoyed our trip to the Hajar mountains at Hatta. This was my first experience of off-road driving and the Dodge was great. Lucy, Max and I also had our first camel ride.
At the risk of sounding like I'm gloating, the weather has now cooled down enough so that we can eat in the garden every night. This will continue for the next 7 or 8 months until it starts to get a bit too hot again. We had a couple of barbeques last week and the kids are enjoying being able to get out into the garden more.
At the risk of sounding like I'm gloating, the weather has now cooled down enough so that we can eat in the garden every night. This will continue for the next 7 or 8 months until it starts to get a bit too hot again. We had a couple of barbeques last week and the kids are enjoying being able to get out into the garden more.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Blood money
In Islamic Law, if you kill someone then their family is entitled to blood money, or diya. The most likely way here is to knock down a pedestrian - 23 already this year on the road outside my office and 23 last year. The payment is 200,000 Dirhams, around £30,000. This is normally covered by insurance unless you have been drinking, and there is zero tolerance. There are Europeans still in jail here because they can't raise the money.
Disconcertingly, there are reports that desperate people here are committing suicide on the roads simply to send the money back to their family. I wince ever ytime I see someone about to run across the motorway in front of me (an extremely common occurrence).
Anyway, a new law is to be introduced in an attempt to stop this. I just hope they manage to tell the people who might be affected. It's unlikely that they read the local papers.
Disconcertingly, there are reports that desperate people here are committing suicide on the roads simply to send the money back to their family. I wince ever ytime I see someone about to run across the motorway in front of me (an extremely common occurrence).
Anyway, a new law is to be introduced in an attempt to stop this. I just hope they manage to tell the people who might be affected. It's unlikely that they read the local papers.
Eid Mubarak
Happy Eid. The month of Ramadan has finished and the 3 day festival of Eid Al Fitr (Christmas is the nearest comparison I can think of) began on Monday. The actual date depends on when the moon is sighted by the 'Moon Spotting Committee' and this year has resulted in a 4 day holiday for public workers thanks to the seasonal generosity of Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum. Plenty of people don't get any time off though and the water for the water cooler was delivered by Nestle as usual this morning.
Yesterday we celebrated by going to Dreamland in the northern Emirate of Umm Al Quwain. We went with Scott and Val who have 3 kids of similar age (Mhairi is in Lucy's class and they are inseparable - I barely saw them all day).
Dreamland is great. It must have been their busiest day of the year but there were still sun loungers to be had and the queues for food weren't too bad. It's not as chic as Wild Wadi, the water park at the Burj-al-Arab, but it was a fraction of the price and very friendly.
Afterwards, we went to the adjacent Barracuda hotel for an excellent Eid buffet. The hotel has a duty free booze warehouse (no liquor licence required) attached and it was absolutely heaving. There were lots of dishdashs and Indians stocking up on their duty free Johnny Walker at a fiver a bottle.
We returned to Dubai, weary but happy, at 10pm with kids content and hard fast asleep. I'm sure this would have been a far cry from most people's pre-conceived ideas of the Middle East - it could have been a day out at any good waterpark on the Med.
In other news, it looks like Janet has landed a part time job teaching at the kid's school. It couldn't be more convenient. I've had heat exhaustion (for the second time since arriving!) due to an excess of gardening, barbeque building and a couple of glasses of Merlot ('you must wear your hat when you go outside you pale skinned pansy!'). Oh, and I've entered the Dubai Marathon. OK, only the 10k part of it, but it's a start.
Yesterday we celebrated by going to Dreamland in the northern Emirate of Umm Al Quwain. We went with Scott and Val who have 3 kids of similar age (Mhairi is in Lucy's class and they are inseparable - I barely saw them all day).
Dreamland is great. It must have been their busiest day of the year but there were still sun loungers to be had and the queues for food weren't too bad. It's not as chic as Wild Wadi, the water park at the Burj-al-Arab, but it was a fraction of the price and very friendly.
Afterwards, we went to the adjacent Barracuda hotel for an excellent Eid buffet. The hotel has a duty free booze warehouse (no liquor licence required) attached and it was absolutely heaving. There were lots of dishdashs and Indians stocking up on their duty free Johnny Walker at a fiver a bottle.
We returned to Dubai, weary but happy, at 10pm with kids content and hard fast asleep. I'm sure this would have been a far cry from most people's pre-conceived ideas of the Middle East - it could have been a day out at any good waterpark on the Med.
In other news, it looks like Janet has landed a part time job teaching at the kid's school. It couldn't be more convenient. I've had heat exhaustion (for the second time since arriving!) due to an excess of gardening, barbeque building and a couple of glasses of Merlot ('you must wear your hat when you go outside you pale skinned pansy!'). Oh, and I've entered the Dubai Marathon. OK, only the 10k part of it, but it's a start.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
All that glitters ...
There are some amazing developments in Dubai, each one trying to outdo the next, as the Emirate tries to replace oil revenues with other sources of income. These mega-projects include the world's largest shopping mall, world's tallest building, world's first underwater hotel, world's largest hotel, world's largest theme park - you get the idea. The link on the right has some excellent pictures of Dubai and these projects.
Dubai is the fastest growing city in the world after Shanghai and is presently home to an amazing 24% of the world's construction cranes. With this comes an army of contractors and labourers, most of whom are bused in every day from labour camps and Sharjah. I came across a good article yesterday which highlights the desperate plight of many of these people, although I'm not sure I like being described as a 'pampered mercenary'. The poverty divide is certainly striking - from expats on fat-cat packages to labourers (on the Palm for example) earning less than £100 per month.
I've said enough about driving here already (still no licence in case you were curious), but I did enjoy this picture I came across the other day.
On the domestic front there have been yet more trips to IKEA, but to compensate we did have a good afternoon on a lovely quiet beach at the Marina. The water is still like a warm bath and a good breeze made for a pleasant time.
We had a good shopping trip without the kids to Dubai's bargain basement souk in Karama. Janet picked up a 'Mulberry' and 'Tods' handbag and I got a 'Mont Blanc' watch (which stopped soon after). The good stuff tended to be hidden away in little attics above the shops which we were ushered in to. It's all completely counterfeit of course but some of it was very good quality and you'd be hard pushed to tell it wasn't the real deal. This was followed by sushi in the very smart Emirates Towers where we were the scruffiest people by some distance. Tomorrow night we're going to the Ritz for their Iftaar buffet. It's a hard life ...
Dubai is the fastest growing city in the world after Shanghai and is presently home to an amazing 24% of the world's construction cranes. With this comes an army of contractors and labourers, most of whom are bused in every day from labour camps and Sharjah. I came across a good article yesterday which highlights the desperate plight of many of these people, although I'm not sure I like being described as a 'pampered mercenary'. The poverty divide is certainly striking - from expats on fat-cat packages to labourers (on the Palm for example) earning less than £100 per month.
I've said enough about driving here already (still no licence in case you were curious), but I did enjoy this picture I came across the other day.
On the domestic front there have been yet more trips to IKEA, but to compensate we did have a good afternoon on a lovely quiet beach at the Marina. The water is still like a warm bath and a good breeze made for a pleasant time.
We had a good shopping trip without the kids to Dubai's bargain basement souk in Karama. Janet picked up a 'Mulberry' and 'Tods' handbag and I got a 'Mont Blanc' watch (which stopped soon after). The good stuff tended to be hidden away in little attics above the shops which we were ushered in to. It's all completely counterfeit of course but some of it was very good quality and you'd be hard pushed to tell it wasn't the real deal. This was followed by sushi in the very smart Emirates Towers where we were the scruffiest people by some distance. Tomorrow night we're going to the Ritz for their Iftaar buffet. It's a hard life ...
Sunday, October 08, 2006
8 weeks in
We've now been here for 8 weeks. Long enough to get an idea of what life's going to be like, but not long enough to really know the place yet.
The weather is cooling off, but very slowly. It still never gets any lower than about 26 degrees even in the dead of night. People keep saying 'hang in there. It'll be lovely in a few weeks time'. Other than Lucy, none of us has more than the slightest hint of a tan since we haven't been able to get out much.
Dubai is a modern city but many of the attitudes remind me of how things were in my childhood. There is little concern for the environment here, hardly any recycling and the amount of water used in a desert country is scandalous. Very few people use child seats or seatbelts. Although this was the norm when I was a child, I now find it shocking that any parent could treat their children's safety so casually. Nobody here can pretend they haven't seen the effects of car crashes and the newspapers are full of stories and graphic images. Just this week there was a huge crash in the next street to our villa (a pretty quiet area). Two 4x4s and a big pickup all smashed up and probably write-offs. I've gone on enough about driving here, but it is a big issue - just check out the local paper in the links.
Lucy went to a classmate's birthday party at Ski Dubai (the world's largest indoor ski centre) at the weekend. When we arrived they also invited Ben to stay for the party. They both had a great time playing in the snow, then there was a magician and food. I think we've got quite a bit to live up to when it's Lucy's birthday in a months time.
Had my last offshore trip for a while yesterday. A sombre mood on the rig as an Indian man had been killed the night before doing some routine maintenance work. Details were sketchy, but he'd been struck on the head by a large lump of metal and killed instantly. Nowhere is the need for safety felt more acutely - this is a dangerous place to work. Needless to say, my meetings were cancelled and I was fortunate to get back on the chopper as some people were held back for the investigation and police interviews.
The weather is cooling off, but very slowly. It still never gets any lower than about 26 degrees even in the dead of night. People keep saying 'hang in there. It'll be lovely in a few weeks time'. Other than Lucy, none of us has more than the slightest hint of a tan since we haven't been able to get out much.
Dubai is a modern city but many of the attitudes remind me of how things were in my childhood. There is little concern for the environment here, hardly any recycling and the amount of water used in a desert country is scandalous. Very few people use child seats or seatbelts. Although this was the norm when I was a child, I now find it shocking that any parent could treat their children's safety so casually. Nobody here can pretend they haven't seen the effects of car crashes and the newspapers are full of stories and graphic images. Just this week there was a huge crash in the next street to our villa (a pretty quiet area). Two 4x4s and a big pickup all smashed up and probably write-offs. I've gone on enough about driving here, but it is a big issue - just check out the local paper in the links.
Lucy went to a classmate's birthday party at Ski Dubai (the world's largest indoor ski centre) at the weekend. When we arrived they also invited Ben to stay for the party. They both had a great time playing in the snow, then there was a magician and food. I think we've got quite a bit to live up to when it's Lucy's birthday in a months time.
Had my last offshore trip for a while yesterday. A sombre mood on the rig as an Indian man had been killed the night before doing some routine maintenance work. Details were sketchy, but he'd been struck on the head by a large lump of metal and killed instantly. Nowhere is the need for safety felt more acutely - this is a dangerous place to work. Needless to say, my meetings were cancelled and I was fortunate to get back on the chopper as some people were held back for the investigation and police interviews.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Ramadan kareem
Or have a blessed Ramadan (I think). Ramadan, as you may (or most probably not) be aware in the UK, is now well underway. The most noticeable effect is that you can't eat, drink, smoke or have sex during daylight hours. I can't say I've noticed any real difference apart from the coffee.
Working hours are shorter for Muslims, although there are still plenty of people working long hours in the baking heat without water. Schools also work shorter hours so the kids get a bit of a lie-in. The fast is broken with a meal (Iftar) and all the restaurants jump on the bandwagon with an 'Iftar Buffet'. We went to one at the swanky Shangri La hotel (but made sure that booze was included!).
In a typical case of cart before horse, after umpteen helicopter rides, I finally completed my helicopter and sea survival training this week. The worst part is definitely when they strap you into a tin can, sink it and then turn it through 180 degrees. To make it worse, as water pours into your nose and you haven't got a clue where you are, you have to count to 10 before you are allowed to escape (otherwise you might congratulate yourself on escaping and lose your head on the still spinning rotor blades). In real life things are complicated by having to push the windows out, get past 12 big roughnecks and not breathe in aviation fuel or drown. Mind you, it's still much, much safer than driving here.
Janet (who has got a driving licence) finally got her new car yesterday, the Dodge Durango 5.7 litre 'Magnum', which gets a very creditable 12mpg. It's good to join the rest of the UAE in doing our bit to hasten global warming. You'll thank us next summer.
Finally, I called my mother yesterday to wish her a happy birthday (only a week late). "I've been reading your web pages" she said. Echoing Janet's sentiments, she went on "it's very boring. Are you writing your life story?" And they say that children say the cruellest things...
Working hours are shorter for Muslims, although there are still plenty of people working long hours in the baking heat without water. Schools also work shorter hours so the kids get a bit of a lie-in. The fast is broken with a meal (Iftar) and all the restaurants jump on the bandwagon with an 'Iftar Buffet'. We went to one at the swanky Shangri La hotel (but made sure that booze was included!).
In a typical case of cart before horse, after umpteen helicopter rides, I finally completed my helicopter and sea survival training this week. The worst part is definitely when they strap you into a tin can, sink it and then turn it through 180 degrees. To make it worse, as water pours into your nose and you haven't got a clue where you are, you have to count to 10 before you are allowed to escape (otherwise you might congratulate yourself on escaping and lose your head on the still spinning rotor blades). In real life things are complicated by having to push the windows out, get past 12 big roughnecks and not breathe in aviation fuel or drown. Mind you, it's still much, much safer than driving here.
Janet (who has got a driving licence) finally got her new car yesterday, the Dodge Durango 5.7 litre 'Magnum', which gets a very creditable 12mpg. It's good to join the rest of the UAE in doing our bit to hasten global warming. You'll thank us next summer.
Finally, I called my mother yesterday to wish her a happy birthday (only a week late). "I've been reading your web pages" she said. Echoing Janet's sentiments, she went on "it's very boring. Are you writing your life story?" And they say that children say the cruellest things...
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Beware of Driving Surprises
This is what it says on road signs on the way to Abu Dhabi. At first it seemed meaningless but lots of things don't translate well from Arabic and I've now got a pretty good idea what they're getting at. Expect the unexpected and drive in a state of complete paranoia. Never assume that a fellow driver will do the rational thing.
The standard of driving here is abysmal. Actually, that's not true. It's not that good. I can't recall a single uneventful journey where I haven't marvelled at some act of stupidity. For example, the standard response to fog and sandstorms, which occur quite frequently at this time of year, seems to be to put on the hazard warning lights and speed up. A Toyota Landcruiser or similarly large 4x4 approaching from behind, lights flashing, at 160 km/h or more is unnerving. Today, on my regular 200 mile trip to Abu Dhabi I saw 3 crashes, a stationary car pointing the wrong way on the edge of the fast lane and someone in a Lexus drove drove through the tiny gap between me and the guy in the next lane at about 200 km/h (I had to swerve into the next lane).
The police behaviour is also strange. I regularly overtake them at 160km/h on the way to Abu Dhabi, as does everyone else, and this seems to be fine. They don't pull you over for anything as far as I can see but just write down your number. I received a 100 Dhs fine on our first day here for 'not staying in lane when compulsory'. I've no idea what this was. You only discover the tickets when you renew the registration or check the website (try it yourself at the Dubai Police website, registration number F 56259).
Anyway, I'm still in one piece and, in a perverse way, actually generally enjoying driving here. Once you get used to it, and accept that you may die at any minute, it can be quite exhilarating.
I spotted an advert yesterday from a university offering various courses in Arabic, Islamic Studies etc., but I was particularly taken with 'Training in English for ill-literates'.
The standard of driving here is abysmal. Actually, that's not true. It's not that good. I can't recall a single uneventful journey where I haven't marvelled at some act of stupidity. For example, the standard response to fog and sandstorms, which occur quite frequently at this time of year, seems to be to put on the hazard warning lights and speed up. A Toyota Landcruiser or similarly large 4x4 approaching from behind, lights flashing, at 160 km/h or more is unnerving. Today, on my regular 200 mile trip to Abu Dhabi I saw 3 crashes, a stationary car pointing the wrong way on the edge of the fast lane and someone in a Lexus drove drove through the tiny gap between me and the guy in the next lane at about 200 km/h (I had to swerve into the next lane).
The police behaviour is also strange. I regularly overtake them at 160km/h on the way to Abu Dhabi, as does everyone else, and this seems to be fine. They don't pull you over for anything as far as I can see but just write down your number. I received a 100 Dhs fine on our first day here for 'not staying in lane when compulsory'. I've no idea what this was. You only discover the tickets when you renew the registration or check the website (try it yourself at the Dubai Police website, registration number F 56259).
Anyway, I'm still in one piece and, in a perverse way, actually generally enjoying driving here. Once you get used to it, and accept that you may die at any minute, it can be quite exhilarating.
I spotted an advert yesterday from a university offering various courses in Arabic, Islamic Studies etc., but I was particularly taken with 'Training in English for ill-literates'.
Lucy stood underneath the enormous guitars at the (very average) Hard Rock Cafe
View from the back of our villa. It's not far to the desert!
Monday, September 25, 2006
System change
I'll try and keep today's update brief (if only to avoid editorial input from my wife who doesn't like my long winded wittering).
I drove over to the Driving Licence centre this morning - no mean feat of navigation I can tell you - confident that I now had all the appropriate pieces of paper and ticks in boxes. I was even wondering about the logistics of collecting the new car. Such optimism, as you will no doubt have guessed, was sadly misguided. I handed in my forms at Reception. 'Go see Manager' he said. Never a good sign.
The Manager was amiable enough but explained that it's only possible for them to issue a Dubai driving licence to a Dubai resident on an Abu Dhabi visa if their visa says Manager. Mine has the lowly designation of Engineer. If I'd come a month ago, he helpfully informed me, it 'would have been no problem, but system change'. And that was that. He was very sorry, but he couldn't help. 'Go Abu Dhabi' he said, 'get licence there. No problem'. If only he knew ...
When I got back I spoke to our Agent in Abu Dhabi. 'There may be a way' he said. 'I know a man in the Dubai Traffic Department. Maybe you need to give him present'. What kind of present I wondered, a bottle of whiskey perhaps? 'Perhaps 4,000 dirhams' he said (nearly £600!) 'or you wait 6 weeks maybe for Government eye test...'
I drove over to the Driving Licence centre this morning - no mean feat of navigation I can tell you - confident that I now had all the appropriate pieces of paper and ticks in boxes. I was even wondering about the logistics of collecting the new car. Such optimism, as you will no doubt have guessed, was sadly misguided. I handed in my forms at Reception. 'Go see Manager' he said. Never a good sign.
The Manager was amiable enough but explained that it's only possible for them to issue a Dubai driving licence to a Dubai resident on an Abu Dhabi visa if their visa says Manager. Mine has the lowly designation of Engineer. If I'd come a month ago, he helpfully informed me, it 'would have been no problem, but system change'. And that was that. He was very sorry, but he couldn't help. 'Go Abu Dhabi' he said, 'get licence there. No problem'. If only he knew ...
When I got back I spoke to our Agent in Abu Dhabi. 'There may be a way' he said. 'I know a man in the Dubai Traffic Department. Maybe you need to give him present'. What kind of present I wondered, a bottle of whiskey perhaps? 'Perhaps 4,000 dirhams' he said (nearly £600!) 'or you wait 6 weeks maybe for Government eye test...'
Sunday, September 24, 2006
The driving licence saga continues
I had planned to write about the experience of driving in the UAE, but, after today, that will have to wait for another time. Those who have been following my antics (is anybody reading this? Please leave comments) will know that I've been having problems getting a driving licence - a combination of visa and colour blindness difficulties.
But first, a note about the weekend. On Thursday (the new Friday of course) we had our first night out without kids thanks to the wonderful maid Sriyanie. I took Janet to a restaurant the Dubai Explorer described as 'fit for a king'. It was smart but the food was absolute rubbish.
On Friday afternoon we went to the Jumeirah Beach Park - a public park with a small admission charge and reasonable facilities. It was busy, but not packed. The sand is lovely (although Max hates it with a vengenance and was only happy when on the sunbed or in the sea), the weather a sunny 38 degrees, a slight breeze and the water is clear and warm. There is a slight fly in the ointment. Hoardes of men (mostly Indian and Pakistani I think) dressed as if they have just come off the street, walk up and down the shore staring at women as if they had never seen a woman, never mind one in a bikini.
Anyway, today started off well enough. Today is the second day of Ramadan and the roads were quieter than usual getting in to work. I saw the curious sight of a group of camels at the Nad Al Sheba racecourse out doing early morning 'gallops' which put me in a good mood.
I called Ayesha to see what progress she had made with my driving licence. Precisely none. The upshot was that I was going to have to go and do it all myself. I drove over to see her and collected all the documentation. She gave me hopeless directions so I decided to get a cab.
I had a terrible feeling of deja vu as I entered the building. The man on reception gave me a form. I asked if I could have a pen. 'No - go there', he said, pointing at a wall. After a few minutes walking all over the building I went back and then he said 'go typing'. I should have guessed of course and went off to find the typing pool and stump up yet another typing fee. The 'typist' was an incredibly rude local (who hand wrote the form) who was shouting loudly at the poor Indian in front of me. At least you don't get treated like dirt when you have a white face in this country and he completed the form without incident.
Back to Reception. 'You have eye test?' 'No - can I do it here?'. 'No, you go to Optician and come back'. OK, now I played my trump card. 'Can I speak to Major Yousuf Logani' I asked, as directed by Ayesha. [BTW, Janet has just walked in and said this is incredibly boring. It may well be, but that's just how it is.Feel free to stop reading if you're losing the will to live. After all lets face it, actually experiencing the whole thing took less time to complete than it does to read it!!!!!And you've got to keep reminding yourself that this whole thing is nothing more than a product of Mark's own making. If he'd gone through the proper channels in the first place instead of trying to cheat the system he would have had a driving licence by now, but it's far more atractive to try and beat them at their own game. I bet he'll edit this bit out! OK, Janet,I'll leave it in].
To cut a long story short, for Janet's benefit, they didn't know the Major and so I had to go and find an optician. I passed the test - she didn't bother with the colour bit, even though I had memorised the numbers, and ticked it as 'Fit'. I tried to call Janet to tell her but my phone had fallen out in the taxi. By now, he was in Traffic Hell, or Bur Dubai as they call it here, and he didn't get back until over an hour and a half later. By the time I'd got back to the Police Department they'd closed (shorter hours during Ramadan). I'll be back there again tomorrow morning for another dose...
But first, a note about the weekend. On Thursday (the new Friday of course) we had our first night out without kids thanks to the wonderful maid Sriyanie. I took Janet to a restaurant the Dubai Explorer described as 'fit for a king'. It was smart but the food was absolute rubbish.
On Friday afternoon we went to the Jumeirah Beach Park - a public park with a small admission charge and reasonable facilities. It was busy, but not packed. The sand is lovely (although Max hates it with a vengenance and was only happy when on the sunbed or in the sea), the weather a sunny 38 degrees, a slight breeze and the water is clear and warm. There is a slight fly in the ointment. Hoardes of men (mostly Indian and Pakistani I think) dressed as if they have just come off the street, walk up and down the shore staring at women as if they had never seen a woman, never mind one in a bikini.
Anyway, today started off well enough. Today is the second day of Ramadan and the roads were quieter than usual getting in to work. I saw the curious sight of a group of camels at the Nad Al Sheba racecourse out doing early morning 'gallops' which put me in a good mood.
I called Ayesha to see what progress she had made with my driving licence. Precisely none. The upshot was that I was going to have to go and do it all myself. I drove over to see her and collected all the documentation. She gave me hopeless directions so I decided to get a cab.
I had a terrible feeling of deja vu as I entered the building. The man on reception gave me a form. I asked if I could have a pen. 'No - go there', he said, pointing at a wall. After a few minutes walking all over the building I went back and then he said 'go typing'. I should have guessed of course and went off to find the typing pool and stump up yet another typing fee. The 'typist' was an incredibly rude local (who hand wrote the form) who was shouting loudly at the poor Indian in front of me. At least you don't get treated like dirt when you have a white face in this country and he completed the form without incident.
Back to Reception. 'You have eye test?' 'No - can I do it here?'. 'No, you go to Optician and come back'. OK, now I played my trump card. 'Can I speak to Major Yousuf Logani' I asked, as directed by Ayesha. [BTW, Janet has just walked in and said this is incredibly boring. It may well be, but that's just how it is.Feel free to stop reading if you're losing the will to live. After all lets face it, actually experiencing the whole thing took less time to complete than it does to read it!!!!!And you've got to keep reminding yourself that this whole thing is nothing more than a product of Mark's own making. If he'd gone through the proper channels in the first place instead of trying to cheat the system he would have had a driving licence by now, but it's far more atractive to try and beat them at their own game. I bet he'll edit this bit out! OK, Janet,I'll leave it in].
To cut a long story short, for Janet's benefit, they didn't know the Major and so I had to go and find an optician. I passed the test - she didn't bother with the colour bit, even though I had memorised the numbers, and ticked it as 'Fit'. I tried to call Janet to tell her but my phone had fallen out in the taxi. By now, he was in Traffic Hell, or Bur Dubai as they call it here, and he didn't get back until over an hour and a half later. By the time I'd got back to the Police Department they'd closed (shorter hours during Ramadan). I'll be back there again tomorrow morning for another dose...
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
A good Madam
It's official. Janet is a good Madam. This glowing recommendation comes directly from our Sri Lankan maid, Siranie (who has worked for a few Madams in her time and apparently knows a good one when she sees one). I am 'Sir' or 'Boss'. Don't laugh - it's not meant to be ironic.
Siranie (spelling is almost certainly wrong) started full time this week and has been great. She arrives at eight and leaves at four. The house is clean and tidy, the laundry baskets are empty, ironed shirts are in the wardrobes, she's good with the kids and she's going to babysit once per week. The kids like her and vice versa. Long may it continue.
The rest of the news in brief (since I have to get up at 4.30 in the morning to catch a helicopter, as you do, from Abu Dhabi to 2 miles from the Iranian border in the Gulf). At the risk of worrying my mother, I found out yesterday that the (French) rig that I'm visiting was struck by a (French) Exocet missile during the last Iran/Iraq war. And we're worrying about slips, trips and falls ...
Anyway, the kids have started their new school and it seems good. Ben in particular is really enjoying it - he didn't want to come home yesterday.
Lucy is going to ballet, drama classes and Rainbows.
Janet has a posh friend in Jumeirah and officially doesn't have HIV.
I got my no objection letter for a booze licence from the Abu Dhabi police and also discovered a Duty Free shop in Abu Dhabi (30% cheaper than the Dubai off licences). The fridge is finally full of sauvignon blanc and cold lager.
Still haven't got a driving licence ...
Siranie (spelling is almost certainly wrong) started full time this week and has been great. She arrives at eight and leaves at four. The house is clean and tidy, the laundry baskets are empty, ironed shirts are in the wardrobes, she's good with the kids and she's going to babysit once per week. The kids like her and vice versa. Long may it continue.
The rest of the news in brief (since I have to get up at 4.30 in the morning to catch a helicopter, as you do, from Abu Dhabi to 2 miles from the Iranian border in the Gulf). At the risk of worrying my mother, I found out yesterday that the (French) rig that I'm visiting was struck by a (French) Exocet missile during the last Iran/Iraq war. And we're worrying about slips, trips and falls ...
Anyway, the kids have started their new school and it seems good. Ben in particular is really enjoying it - he didn't want to come home yesterday.
Lucy is going to ballet, drama classes and Rainbows.
Janet has a posh friend in Jumeirah and officially doesn't have HIV.
I got my no objection letter for a booze licence from the Abu Dhabi police and also discovered a Duty Free shop in Abu Dhabi (30% cheaper than the Dubai off licences). The fridge is finally full of sauvignon blanc and cold lager.
Still haven't got a driving licence ...
Sunday, September 17, 2006
You can take the man out of Yorkshire ...
When you move in to a villa in this area a whole load of people start knocking at your door – ‘Sir, you want housemaid?’, ‘water?’, ‘gas?’, ‘DVDs?’, you name it). One of them was a gardener who offered to sort out the garden for 250 Dirhams (less than £40) per month. I agreed and initially was really impressed at how often he came and how much better the garden looked. Our conversations were brief – his English being limited to ‘open gate’, ‘water’ and ‘give money’.
He did a good job and the garden looks much better (although the water costs significantly more than him). It’s a simple garden and now there is nothing to do except cut the grass once a week and a tiny bit of weeding. He doesn’t do these things unless I ask him. Instead, he prefers to stand in the shade and hose down the patio. So I decided to sack him and do it myself. Janet found an advert for a cheap second hand lawn mower. I called the guy (who confirmed my theory about not being able to go anywhere in the world without meeting a scouser) and asked for directions. He lived on the other side of the city but we decided to go since it was opposite a place called Dragon Mart, which Janet had heard of as a cheap place to get bedding.
I got the mower (he lived in a huge mansion with pool and had paved the garden since the water bill was crippling) and then we queued to get into Dragon Mart.
Dubai is a city in love with shopping. Apparently there are 21 shopping malls. The latest one, the Mall of the Emirates (the one with the ski slope) makes the Trafford Centre look small and is the biggest outside the States. As if this wasn’t enough, as part of building the world’s tallest building, they’re also building the world’s largest shopping mall.
Dragon Mart is shaped liked one of those Chinese dragons that you see dancing down the street at Chinese new year. It is truly enormous – over a kilometre long – and apparently has over 3,000 shops. I famously used to think that eBay was the place to go to get anything you want, cheaply. I’ve changed my mind. This place is cheap, real cheap, and there is an amazing variety of things on sale (airport seats, 5ft diameter grinding wheels, quad bikes, electronics, clothes, shoes, ‘Gucci’ handbags, furniture, toys …). There must be 30 shops selling nothing but massage chairs. I’ve always coveted one of these after trying one priced at £3k at the Ideal Home Show. The Chinese equivalent here is £500 and I’m very, very tempted. Janet liked it and the kids had a great time trying them out.
This morning the gardener came and started watering the grass and patio – a complete waste of time in this heat and unnecessary since we have the automatic system. I went out, turned off the water, and explained that I would be doing the gardening from now on and that I wouldn’t need him to come back. He was upset (‘work not good?’) but I explained there wasn’t much to do and I would do it myself. He then turned the water back on and started to wash my car as if trying to prove that he did have a use. Again I stopped him. He called his boss who speaks English. He came round and I paid him off. He looked at me as if I was mad doing my own gardening (people round here just don’t). ‘You not got job already?’, he asked.
He did a good job and the garden looks much better (although the water costs significantly more than him). It’s a simple garden and now there is nothing to do except cut the grass once a week and a tiny bit of weeding. He doesn’t do these things unless I ask him. Instead, he prefers to stand in the shade and hose down the patio. So I decided to sack him and do it myself. Janet found an advert for a cheap second hand lawn mower. I called the guy (who confirmed my theory about not being able to go anywhere in the world without meeting a scouser) and asked for directions. He lived on the other side of the city but we decided to go since it was opposite a place called Dragon Mart, which Janet had heard of as a cheap place to get bedding.
I got the mower (he lived in a huge mansion with pool and had paved the garden since the water bill was crippling) and then we queued to get into Dragon Mart.
Dubai is a city in love with shopping. Apparently there are 21 shopping malls. The latest one, the Mall of the Emirates (the one with the ski slope) makes the Trafford Centre look small and is the biggest outside the States. As if this wasn’t enough, as part of building the world’s tallest building, they’re also building the world’s largest shopping mall.
Dragon Mart is shaped liked one of those Chinese dragons that you see dancing down the street at Chinese new year. It is truly enormous – over a kilometre long – and apparently has over 3,000 shops. I famously used to think that eBay was the place to go to get anything you want, cheaply. I’ve changed my mind. This place is cheap, real cheap, and there is an amazing variety of things on sale (airport seats, 5ft diameter grinding wheels, quad bikes, electronics, clothes, shoes, ‘Gucci’ handbags, furniture, toys …). There must be 30 shops selling nothing but massage chairs. I’ve always coveted one of these after trying one priced at £3k at the Ideal Home Show. The Chinese equivalent here is £500 and I’m very, very tempted. Janet liked it and the kids had a great time trying them out.
This morning the gardener came and started watering the grass and patio – a complete waste of time in this heat and unnecessary since we have the automatic system. I went out, turned off the water, and explained that I would be doing the gardening from now on and that I wouldn’t need him to come back. He was upset (‘work not good?’) but I explained there wasn’t much to do and I would do it myself. He then turned the water back on and started to wash my car as if trying to prove that he did have a use. Again I stopped him. He called his boss who speaks English. He came round and I paid him off. He looked at me as if I was mad doing my own gardening (people round here just don’t). ‘You not got job already?’, he asked.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Mixed fortunes
Things started to look up a bit today. First of all we've employed a maid - again this could be the subject of a long article in itself but I haven't got the energy to explain the trials and tribulations. We interviewed her, or rather her husband as her English is a bit lacking, on the recommendation of a woman Janet has met here. She doesn't want to live in but will do 8 'til 4, 5 days a week - this for the kind of money even McDonalds would struggle to get away with. She's also going to babysit one night a week so that will be a big boon. She starts next week.
Then I got a call from the car saleswoman. 'Bring all the documents for the driving licence to my office', she said, 'I have a cousin in the Traffic Department. He will collect your papers and process the licence tomorrow'. No need to worry about the colour blindness test now, which is a bit of a shame because I've been busy for the past couple of days memorising the numbers used in the test (many thanks to Jim York for the info!).
The kids school is located close to the world's only (self-proclaimed) 7 star hotel - the Burj Al Arab - the one that looks like a sail (and where we had the world's most expensive cup of tea at £30). It is a bit of a pain to get to and it hasn't been helped by the unseasonal weather - very foggy, and a huge sandstorm that was quite scary to be driving in. Dubai driving is legendary and the UAE is right up there with the highest fatality rates in the world.
Janet has been finding the trip hard and the kids have been spending a long time in the car. There is another school, Dubai British School, within walking distance of our villa. It had no vacancies last year but Janet called them in desperation and now they have space. We went round it yesterday and it is obviously a very good (school.ae). Subject to them passing the assessment tomorrow (by no means certain as Ben can be quite stubborn when it comes to doing what people ask him), they are going to start there next week. It means another set of school uniform, and loss of deposits to Wellington School, but it should make life easier in the mornings.
Today I carefully filled in the forms and arranged the multitude of paper and photos (and 160 Dhs) needed for a liquor licence. Ben and I went over to the branch of MMI in the Mall of the Emirates to try and get some wine (which has now run out and we're down to 6 cans of beer). This is a muslim country and going into one of these shops doesn't feel right - a bit like going into an adult shop in England (no windows, all very discreet). Anyway, needs must. The Abu Dhabi visa thing, however, thwarted the attempt. 'Sir, you need a letter of No Objection from the Abu Dhabi police'. Deep joy. How on earth do I get that? Another brush with bureaucracy in prospect. In the meantime I'm going to have to beg my colleague Graham to get it for me again or do the 'booze run' to a dodgy unlicensed place in Ajman, an hours drive north. The only worry with this is if the police stop you - transporting alcohol is illegal and you have to go through Sharjah which is both dry and strict. If I suddenly disappear for a month with no contact then you'll probably be able to guess what happened ...
Then I got a call from the car saleswoman. 'Bring all the documents for the driving licence to my office', she said, 'I have a cousin in the Traffic Department. He will collect your papers and process the licence tomorrow'. No need to worry about the colour blindness test now, which is a bit of a shame because I've been busy for the past couple of days memorising the numbers used in the test (many thanks to Jim York for the info!).
The kids school is located close to the world's only (self-proclaimed) 7 star hotel - the Burj Al Arab - the one that looks like a sail (and where we had the world's most expensive cup of tea at £30). It is a bit of a pain to get to and it hasn't been helped by the unseasonal weather - very foggy, and a huge sandstorm that was quite scary to be driving in. Dubai driving is legendary and the UAE is right up there with the highest fatality rates in the world.
Janet has been finding the trip hard and the kids have been spending a long time in the car. There is another school, Dubai British School, within walking distance of our villa. It had no vacancies last year but Janet called them in desperation and now they have space. We went round it yesterday and it is obviously a very good (school.ae). Subject to them passing the assessment tomorrow (by no means certain as Ben can be quite stubborn when it comes to doing what people ask him), they are going to start there next week. It means another set of school uniform, and loss of deposits to Wellington School, but it should make life easier in the mornings.
Today I carefully filled in the forms and arranged the multitude of paper and photos (and 160 Dhs) needed for a liquor licence. Ben and I went over to the branch of MMI in the Mall of the Emirates to try and get some wine (which has now run out and we're down to 6 cans of beer). This is a muslim country and going into one of these shops doesn't feel right - a bit like going into an adult shop in England (no windows, all very discreet). Anyway, needs must. The Abu Dhabi visa thing, however, thwarted the attempt. 'Sir, you need a letter of No Objection from the Abu Dhabi police'. Deep joy. How on earth do I get that? Another brush with bureaucracy in prospect. In the meantime I'm going to have to beg my colleague Graham to get it for me again or do the 'booze run' to a dodgy unlicensed place in Ajman, an hours drive north. The only worry with this is if the police stop you - transporting alcohol is illegal and you have to go through Sharjah which is both dry and strict. If I suddenly disappear for a month with no contact then you'll probably be able to guess what happened ...
Monday, September 11, 2006
Brushes with bureaucracy
All had been going very well on the red tape front. I have the book of the same name and our sponsor in Abu Dhabi - everyone who is not a national Emirati needs a sponsor - provides a Public Relations Officer called Aboobacker to help out with visas and the like. Then we decided to buy a car...
Up to now we've been renting 2 cars. One is a nasty old Mazda 6 which I took because I was in a hurry and the other is a lovely brand new 3.7L Jeep Cherokee (guess which one Janet has?). Anyway, this is clearly a waste of money so I started to look for a car for Janet. Her friend in Ormskirk has a Chrysler Grand Voyager so this is what she'd have. I was a bit nervous since these are pretty expensive in the UK - a quick look at the Fords of Winsford website revealed that am ordinary 3 year old one costs around £16k. However, a quick look around here showed that they are really cheap. A new one with leather seats is around £15k and a one year old model can be had for less than 10. We went to see one at the Al Futtaim 'Lady' Garage near the airport. Once there, other cars caught the eye. One was a Toyota Fortuner, a poor mans Landcruiser, a big 4.0L V8 4x4 at about £14k. However, it only had a lap belt in the middle so was quickly dismissed. The fully covered saleswoman, Ayesha, then suggested a newish, low mileage, black Dodge Durango. This so-called 'mid-sized SUV' is the biggest car I have ever driven. For my brother-in-law Tim's benefit, it has a 5.7L HEMI V8 engine developing 335 BHP. It is a pretty average car for the Dubai school run. Fully expecting it to be outrageously expensive, I was surprised when she said we could have it for 64,000 Dirhams - about £9,300. I paid a deposit for registration and she gave me a list of documents they would need (copy of passport, residence visa, employment contract, tenancy agreement, electricity bill - and this is for a cash sale! - and driving licence).
I got the Red Tape guide out to see what I need for a driving licence. Things are complicated by our visas being from Abu Dhabi and living in Dubai (various forms in Arabic needed) but it seemed straightforward as a UK licence can simply be converted once you have paid a load of fees - more about 'tax free living' in a later post I imagine. One thing that you do need is an eye test and this can be done at any approved optician. I turned up at the local one, paid the 25 Dirhams and thought it would be a breeze. Then he pulled out the colour blindness charts. The first one was easy - a number 12. Then he turned the page and there were two sets of random dots. 'It's 3, Daddy' said Lucy helpfully. Confidently, I said 'that one's 3'. It wasn't and the game was up. He marked the form as 'Unfit'. Colleagues at work hadn't heard of the colour test - it seems to be new - but were confident it wouldn't be a problem ('no-one asked me for mine' etc.).
I decided to risk it, left work early and went to the Police Station in Barsha at 2.45. They close at 2.30. Next day, I was first in the queue at 7.30, got the form and took it off to get typed into Arabic for the usual modest fee. 'No', he said, 'you are Abu Dhabi resident and have to go to Deira with letter from sponsor' (which I have). Since I then had to go to Abu Dhabi for a meeting, and it takes about 2 years to get to Deira in rush hour, I didn't go.
Later that night I spoke to Gareth, who had just been through the car process. 'I think you have to do it in Abu Dhabi' he said. 'It's easy - no colour test'. As I'm finding out, however, processes and procedures change from one sunny day to the next (don't get me started on getting a medical for the visa) and now there is a colour test in Abu Dhabi, using the same book as Dubai which I promptly failed. At least this time, thanks to Lucy, I got the first two right. 'Is it a problem' I asked the tester hopefully. 'It is problem for you' came the understated reply.
(This is turning into a long winded rant, but I need to get it off my chest now)
So, I go and queue up again (another recurring theme - one day I'll tell the story of the queues at the port to get our stuff and how Ben saved the day, but it's getting late and have to be up at 5.30 to get the kids to school at 7.45). They don't know what to do with me - 'go see the Captain', 'you need to speak to Mohammed', 'Mr Yousuf will help you' ... Surely, I can't be the only colour blind person in the UAE?
Mr Yousuf, in common with the rest of bored locals doing boring jobs, hasn't heard about customer friendliness. They all seem to wait for a big queue to form and then walk off. A local may then breeze up and push past the lot of you. Anyway, 'go to Ministry of Health, you know, behind Najda Street' he said and gave me another form in Arabic which probably said 'Do not give this man a driving licence'. The taxi driver and several people in the locality had no idea where it was. I finally arrived, a bit frazzled, at closing time but was given a letter to take the Government hospital in Mafraq to determine my fitness to drive. This was to include tests of upper and lower limb strength and a complete medical (including date of onset of disability). Mafraq Hospital, I now know, is almost an hours drive out into the desert. I got there and was told to make an appointment. 'When will it be', I asked the (completely covered) woman. 'It is not urgent' she said. 'If you are lucky 4 to 6 weeks'. Deflated, I drove back the 100 miles to Dubai, got stuck in the inevitable weekend rush hour, and got grief from Janet for being back late as if I'd been down the pub or the like.
The weekend passed. On Sunday (weekend is Friday and Saturday here now) I went to see Aboobacker in Abu Dhabi again. He didn't know what to do but has put me onto his boss, a local, to make some calls and speak to some people. I still haven't heard from him.
Today, Ayesha called to see if I still want the car. I explained the situation. 'No problem' she said, 'I know people in the Police Department and will sort it for you'. It's clear that there are different rules for Arabs - fair enough, it is their country - but she hasn't got back to me. So, I'm still stuck in the dirty old Mazda 6. My next ruse is to get Janet to take the test and memorise the numbers in the random coloured dots that I see. I'll keep you posted...
It's not all bad, and I don't want to give that impression. The pic below is of the pool (nicely chilled!) a couple of streets away from us - this is included in the Dubai equivalent of Council Tax.
Up to now we've been renting 2 cars. One is a nasty old Mazda 6 which I took because I was in a hurry and the other is a lovely brand new 3.7L Jeep Cherokee (guess which one Janet has?). Anyway, this is clearly a waste of money so I started to look for a car for Janet. Her friend in Ormskirk has a Chrysler Grand Voyager so this is what she'd have. I was a bit nervous since these are pretty expensive in the UK - a quick look at the Fords of Winsford website revealed that am ordinary 3 year old one costs around £16k. However, a quick look around here showed that they are really cheap. A new one with leather seats is around £15k and a one year old model can be had for less than 10. We went to see one at the Al Futtaim 'Lady' Garage near the airport. Once there, other cars caught the eye. One was a Toyota Fortuner, a poor mans Landcruiser, a big 4.0L V8 4x4 at about £14k. However, it only had a lap belt in the middle so was quickly dismissed. The fully covered saleswoman, Ayesha, then suggested a newish, low mileage, black Dodge Durango. This so-called 'mid-sized SUV' is the biggest car I have ever driven. For my brother-in-law Tim's benefit, it has a 5.7L HEMI V8 engine developing 335 BHP. It is a pretty average car for the Dubai school run. Fully expecting it to be outrageously expensive, I was surprised when she said we could have it for 64,000 Dirhams - about £9,300. I paid a deposit for registration and she gave me a list of documents they would need (copy of passport, residence visa, employment contract, tenancy agreement, electricity bill - and this is for a cash sale! - and driving licence).
I got the Red Tape guide out to see what I need for a driving licence. Things are complicated by our visas being from Abu Dhabi and living in Dubai (various forms in Arabic needed) but it seemed straightforward as a UK licence can simply be converted once you have paid a load of fees - more about 'tax free living' in a later post I imagine. One thing that you do need is an eye test and this can be done at any approved optician. I turned up at the local one, paid the 25 Dirhams and thought it would be a breeze. Then he pulled out the colour blindness charts. The first one was easy - a number 12. Then he turned the page and there were two sets of random dots. 'It's 3, Daddy' said Lucy helpfully. Confidently, I said 'that one's 3'. It wasn't and the game was up. He marked the form as 'Unfit'. Colleagues at work hadn't heard of the colour test - it seems to be new - but were confident it wouldn't be a problem ('no-one asked me for mine' etc.).
I decided to risk it, left work early and went to the Police Station in Barsha at 2.45. They close at 2.30. Next day, I was first in the queue at 7.30, got the form and took it off to get typed into Arabic for the usual modest fee. 'No', he said, 'you are Abu Dhabi resident and have to go to Deira with letter from sponsor' (which I have). Since I then had to go to Abu Dhabi for a meeting, and it takes about 2 years to get to Deira in rush hour, I didn't go.
Later that night I spoke to Gareth, who had just been through the car process. 'I think you have to do it in Abu Dhabi' he said. 'It's easy - no colour test'. As I'm finding out, however, processes and procedures change from one sunny day to the next (don't get me started on getting a medical for the visa) and now there is a colour test in Abu Dhabi, using the same book as Dubai which I promptly failed. At least this time, thanks to Lucy, I got the first two right. 'Is it a problem' I asked the tester hopefully. 'It is problem for you' came the understated reply.
(This is turning into a long winded rant, but I need to get it off my chest now)
So, I go and queue up again (another recurring theme - one day I'll tell the story of the queues at the port to get our stuff and how Ben saved the day, but it's getting late and have to be up at 5.30 to get the kids to school at 7.45). They don't know what to do with me - 'go see the Captain', 'you need to speak to Mohammed', 'Mr Yousuf will help you' ... Surely, I can't be the only colour blind person in the UAE?
Mr Yousuf, in common with the rest of bored locals doing boring jobs, hasn't heard about customer friendliness. They all seem to wait for a big queue to form and then walk off. A local may then breeze up and push past the lot of you. Anyway, 'go to Ministry of Health, you know, behind Najda Street' he said and gave me another form in Arabic which probably said 'Do not give this man a driving licence'. The taxi driver and several people in the locality had no idea where it was. I finally arrived, a bit frazzled, at closing time but was given a letter to take the Government hospital in Mafraq to determine my fitness to drive. This was to include tests of upper and lower limb strength and a complete medical (including date of onset of disability). Mafraq Hospital, I now know, is almost an hours drive out into the desert. I got there and was told to make an appointment. 'When will it be', I asked the (completely covered) woman. 'It is not urgent' she said. 'If you are lucky 4 to 6 weeks'. Deflated, I drove back the 100 miles to Dubai, got stuck in the inevitable weekend rush hour, and got grief from Janet for being back late as if I'd been down the pub or the like.
The weekend passed. On Sunday (weekend is Friday and Saturday here now) I went to see Aboobacker in Abu Dhabi again. He didn't know what to do but has put me onto his boss, a local, to make some calls and speak to some people. I still haven't heard from him.
Today, Ayesha called to see if I still want the car. I explained the situation. 'No problem' she said, 'I know people in the Police Department and will sort it for you'. It's clear that there are different rules for Arabs - fair enough, it is their country - but she hasn't got back to me. So, I'm still stuck in the dirty old Mazda 6. My next ruse is to get Janet to take the test and memorise the numbers in the random coloured dots that I see. I'll keep you posted...
It's not all bad, and I don't want to give that impression. The pic below is of the pool (nicely chilled!) a couple of streets away from us - this is included in the Dubai equivalent of Council Tax.
September 11th
Not sure where to start with this - so much has happened in the 3 weeks since we arrived in Dubai. I've thought of writing a diary but I never seem to get round to it. I thought a few random rambles might be more interesting - but you never know.
I've just realised what the date is. It's significance for us is that today is Ben's first day at Wellington School (www.wellingtoninternationalschool.com). Janet had a few tears last night - 'I don't want my baby to go to school'. He's not a baby any more and I think he's going to love the school.
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